Answering the Tough Questions Repentance for sterilization

Pope Paul VI’s encyclical “Humanae Vitae” “teaches that each and every marriage act must remain open to the transmission of life.”  If a man has a vasectomy or a woman, tubal ligation, and later repents and confesses his/her sin, may they continue to have marital relations and be in accord with the teaching of the Church?

Only God can judge our souls, and only God really knows our hearts.  Yours is a common question which, sadly, deals with a common situation today.  The root cause of sterilizations is fear of the future and a lack of trust in God.  Often, such a state of mind is the result of a deficient relationship with God, or because of various psychological wounds caused during the developmental period of a person’s life.  (If the woman or man could not trust their own father growing up, they will find it difficult to trust God.)

In this case, what we need to avoid is the cynical approach “it’s easier to beg forgiveness than to get permission.”  Such a calculating posture is no way to deal with God.

However, I have known many cases of good people who were simply given bad advice and chose to be sterilized.  Coming to their senses they have regretted their decisions, repented in the Sacrament of Confession, and sought the mercy of God.  Having truly repented, there is nothing to prevent them from embracing marital relations as before.  However, it won’t be the same; it can’t be the same; and deep in their hearts, they will ache of remorse for their previous decisions, because actions have consequences.
 
The best they can do – and I have given this advice to couples who are in this situation – is to limit their marital relations to the times when the woman would not have been fertile;  and in this way, by acting in accord with the cycles of natural family planning, they show a respect for God’s plan and his timing, and in some way seek to image in their lives God’s rhythm for life.

Our mission is the truth. Join us!

Your monthly donation will help our team continue reporting the truth, with fairness, integrity, and fidelity to Jesus Christ and his Church.