Catholic & Single
October 05, 2011
Dating someone unfit for marriage
By Anthony Buono

Marriage is a practical sacrament and institution. It requires two people who not only “want” to be married, but are capable of living out marriage. Too often, people go into marriage full of love and good intention, but no personal skills to fulfill their role.

I continue to observe more and more how the capability aspect of getting married is not typically considered and is disconnected from the aspect of desire for marriage by two people. This disconnection explains why so many people,...

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September 21, 2011
Is your love life childish?
By Anthony Buono

We’re like children, we’re not men! Classic line of a favorite Seinfeld episode I got to watch again the other day called “The Engagement.” I can’t help smiling even as I recall it to write this article.

Jerry and George are in the diner (as usual) whining to each other about their love life. George ended a relationship because the girl liked to say “Happy, Pappy?” to him. Jerry just broke up with someone because she shushed him. “I’ve got a real thing about shushing”,...

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September 14, 2011
Do men think smart girls are unattractive?
By Anthony Buono

Dumb guys go for dumb girls, and smart guys go for dumb girls. So what do smart girls get? A cat!

That’s a little joke I have come across that’s pretty funny. Like all jokes, there’s an element of truth to it.

The first truth is that many smart guys do go for dumb girls. Whether they marry dumb girls or not is another question. But I have heard many women distressed about why these intelligent, devoutly religious men are attracted to what they call “air heads”. Well, needless to say,...

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September 07, 2011
For successful dating, love yourself
By Anthony Buono

In the Sunday reading of St. Paul this week, we heard how the proof of love is that we love our neighbor as ourselves.

Many people might be prone to use this passage in justifying their “I am who I am” approach to themselves. This is me! Take me for who I am! The ultimate love of self, therefore, is that we permit ourselves to be whoever we want to be and do whatever we want to do. After all, that’s “who I am.”

With this approach, the concept of love your neighbor as yourself becomes...

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August 24, 2011
Should we get engaged?
By Anthony Buono

Dear Anthony,

My boyfriend and I have been good friends for the past five years and we just began dating a little over eight months ago. We have a lot of deep conversations and we both feel that God is calling us to marriage. Do you have any specific questions or topics that we need to talk about before we take the next serious step and get engaged?

Assuming you are both practicing Catholics who adhere to all the Church teaches, your deep friendship grounded in your shared strong faith...

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August 17, 2011
I want to hold your hand
By Anthony Buono

Few things are as beautiful and inspirational to me as being on the beach. There is something about watching the sea and listening to the waves crash against the shore that uplifts my spirits, clears my mind, and brings out creativity. In fact, I am at the beach right now as I write.

If there is one thing that is more beautiful and inspiring to me than the ocean, it is the sight of an older couple holding hands walking along the ocean’s edge. I have already seen two such couples today...

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August 10, 2011
Can I afford to date?
By Anthony Buono

Dear Anthony,

I only make $35,000, and the woman I just started dating makes about the same. It’s hard for me to find work that pays more. I want to fall in love and marry one day and provide for the family. Should I feel guilty about dating? How do you date someone when you both have very little money? This is even more challenging if you are trying to fly or drive to meet someone in another state or country.

It is a very difficult financial time. It’s easy to be distracted by financial...

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August 03, 2011
The roles of men and women
By Anthony Buono

I have to laugh a bit as I write this article responding to the feedback of last week’s article, responding to a previous article, responding to the feedback from a previous article.

I received many requests for a dating job description for women. I believe this was addressed in the “Finding a good woman: from God’s point of view” article, which focuses on what the Bible states makes up a good wife as mentioned in Sirach 26. The list I made for men who are dating is actually very...

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July 27, 2011
Wanted: Dating Catholic Male
By Anthony Buono

I thought I might make a kind of a “job description” for men interested in dating and finding love that ends in sacramental marriage. It might read something like this:

Wanted: Dating Catholic Male

Job Description:

Seeking single Catholic men capable of pursuing Catholic women with the purpose of finding one who will make a suitable marriage partner. Must be willing to make the decision to live with her for a lifetime of love, commitment and responsibility in the sacrament of Holy...

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July 13, 2011
Warning: Dating the previously married
By Anthony Buono

Many single Catholics who have never been married have no interest in considering someone who has been married before as a future spouse. Not even those eligible for sacramental marriage who have a decree of nullity.

And why is this? It’s not an unreasonable thing for a person never married to want someone also never married. But can we go as far as to have this as a preference or an insistence? Are previously married people some sort of second class citizen? Do they have to stick to their...

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