First I overslept ... my fault for staying up way too late, trying to get ahead of the game, only to start off behind. Dumb, I know. Then I took my husband to the airport, realizing only as I drove home that the next six days on the calendar were jam packed and I was simply going to have to bi-locate. Not possible. Those feelings of anxiety and panic that almost paralyze me began to set in.
By the time I got home, I was falling apart. One thing after another went wrong, compounded by the fact that I was functioning on little sleep. Definite recipe for disaster. By the time 3 pm hit, I was an emotional wreck inside.
I couldn’t just go to my room and sob. The schedule said we had baseball practice, ballet and my weekly hour of adoration …not to mention dinner, which still needed to be planned. So, I pulled myself together and moved ahead though I wanted to run away and hide.
I dropped the kids at baseball and ballet and headed to our parish chapel for our family holy hour. “Why am I doing this?” I asked myself. After all, I was a mess, the four kids with me were arguing, and my two year old was fussy. But I felt a tug on my soul and entered the church. I told the kids to give me sometime alone and suggested that they make the Stations of the Cross around the church together. Thankfully, they willingly complied. There I sat, and the tears started flowing. Certainly I was tired physically, but I was also just plain tired of the same old routine. Physically and emotionally, I was worn out.
After a good cry, I looked up to see my children, quietly walking from station to station, explaining each image to their little sister. When they got back to me, my two year old, Lucy, looked up at me and said, "Jesus' cross was very heavy!" I held her close and thought, "Indeed it was. And He was carrying that cross for me. Here I am trying to carry this cross all by myself."
So easily I forget Jesus' words to his followers, “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30.
No wonder the weight of my burdens was too heavy for me. Until that moment, I had forgotten to unite myself with Our Lord.
Suddenly the hope started to flow through me and the days ahead---which had seemed so impossible—seemed doable. With Jesus beside me every step of the way, I could manage whatever lay ahead.
We all have had days like this when our daily responsibilities seem too much for us to handle. How do you find solace?