No, I don’t have one yet….but I did have brunch with the deliciously cuddly baby Max and his sweet mama this morning, and holding the little dude made me think of all the newborn-y phenoms I’m looking forward to…and so I give you, in no particular order:
1. Fresh baby/baptized smell. Whether it’s sweet milky babyness or the persistent odor of sanctity (aka chrism oil), there’s nothing sweeter than baby scalp. Love!
2. Immobility. Set baby on couch. Line couch with pillows. Proceed with intended activity…genius! (Though I suppose only with exterior baby safely asleep or highly supervised.) When Joey was wee, he lounged on his boppy while I Jillian Michael’sd 6 inches from his indifferent face. Those were the days…
3. Onesie and donesie. Sufficient to say, unless this baby is a little lady, he will be sporting a solid ‘classic’ white onesie and not.much.else. all summer long. I consider that a perfectly acceptable ensemble for 0-6 months, though my mother has been heard to remark that babies without socks look a little ‘white trash.’ Classy, Glam ma.
4. Teeny little odorless diapers. Well, almost odorless…
5. Senseless smiles and/or chin wiggles during sleep. Melt….
6. Portable to the max – Joey must have slept under a dozen restaurant tables in his first few months ex-utero. And perhaps double that number of coffee shops.
7. Ergo wear-go: I love wearing my babies…it’s the most hippie thing about my mothering style, except for perhaps the henna incident and the copious amounts of homeopathic crack I’m ingesting morning, noon and night these days.
P.s. this is ridiculously filled with profanity, utterly unrelated, but holy hell is it funny. (Don’t judge if you click, and I won’t tell you that my saintly husband sent it to me via messenger…and do skip ahead to like minute 3)