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July 17, 2017

Hey, would you look at that, two whole weeks, huh?

I can always look back and pinpoint major and minor crises in my life by glaring gaps in the ‘ol online record, particularly in the summer time when things tend to get more intense. (No shingles to report thus far this July, praiseyouJesus). Just, things have been a little raw. All the house hunting and contract signing and then, oh joy, signing more termination paperwork after a big bummer of an inspection this morning because, you guessed it, the F word. Foundation damage.

We seem to have developed an uncanny knack for turning up homes who are literally considering sliding off their cement pedestals, and at this point I’m thinking I should reach out to Joanna friggin Gaines and offer to partner with her in identifying fix uppers in the Denver metro area just in case she ever gets the itch to expand beyond scenic Waco.

Joanna, girl, I’m here for you.

So life has been a little hectic. I’ve also had to come to grips with the reality that this time – and whether it’s pregnancy alone or just a big old pot of circumstance soup, I can’t rightly say – I seem to be wrestling with prenatal depression which is some of the fun of postpartum depression but without the added challenge of sleep deprivation. So that’s been fun. I’m feeling better now thanks to lots of babysitting and a wonderful, compassionate and responsive doctor, progesterone, and more sleep and I’m so, so glad that I have air conditioning and live in America. With a minivan. Because as far ask pregnancy goes, those are the trifecta of luxury if you ask me: medical care, minivan, climate control.

I’m really bummed about this most recent house, and while I’m trying to channel that deflation into gratitude that we didn’t buy another POS that needed 50k in repairs, I’m really, really tired of driving all over God’s congested creation looking at crackhouses with my four darling offspring in tow, so I’d love your prayers. (And if you have snarky comments about what idiots we were to sell our last home in this market, you can go ahead and keep those to yourself. Or face the wrath of Twitter Jenny who is far less magnanimous than blogger Jenny.)

If I were to step forward 5 years in the future for even an hour or two for a glimpse of what might await our family down the road, I’m sure I’d come crawling back to this particular moment, throw my arms gratefully around this particular cross, and be completely at peace. So I’m trying to go there imaginatively and remind myself it’s temporary, it’s temporal, and it’s oh-so-preferable to any number of other sufferings and situations so many families find themselves in. Also, Jesus I trust in you. Really, I do. Help my unbelief.

In addition to the aforementioned babysitter (two sisters who’s mom is a blog reader and reached out with the suggestion – God bless the entire H family forever and ever amen) I have the two big boys headed to “saint camp” next week and have been trying to do at least a couple of fun activities (library or pool – basically Vegas) every week. Last Saturday we took the kids to a small time, tame little amusement park outside of town called Heritage Square where I proceeded to ride every ride defying my gestational situation in a flagrant display of Kendra-style maternity, and it was wonderful. Also wonderful: my terrified not-quite two-year-old who was somehow vetted as tall enough for the Tilt a Whirl. It will live on in his mind as either the most terrifying or seraphic experience of his brief 23 months ex utero. The expression frozen on his face at the duration of the ride was hard to read.

(Forthcoming topic: “things you’d never do with your firstborn, volume 1: amusement park rides and the 5 10 second rule”)

Luke is very helpfully trying to potty train himself by tearing his diaper off wandering around stark naked. I am grateful that all our surrounding neighbors work full time and/or are allergic to the outdoors. So far we haven’t had any biohazardous situations precipitate from this behavior, but there’s always tomorrow. I think if I really wanted to potty train a 23 month old I probably could? But I’ve never had lasting success with anyone under 3, so I feel like adding to the current load of life would be, how can I put this, unspeakably stupid? Plus, won’t he be regressively finger painting the walls with poop when the new baby comes at Christmas?

School starts in just over a month and I have all supplies (and supply kits – glory!) ordered or purchased, including back-freaking-packs and water bottles. The uniform orders are starting to trickle in and Evie’s plaid jumper is the cutest thing I’ve ever laid eyes on. I almost wish I’d sprung for the optional Mass day tie. Swoon. I just finished my favorite (to date) Rosemund Pilcher novel, “Coming Home,” and the first half is set at a boarding school in Cornwall and oh, if only I had to buy her a smart little beret and some tweed outerwear too.

Oh, one last piece of housekeeping: I’m (finally) starting a podcast. I’m just starting to record episodes this month so we’ll see when things get up and running, but I’ll keep you guys in the loop. I know sometimes it’s easier to listen to stuff than to read, and that some people (horror) DON’T READ AT ALL, so it’ll be a fun new demographic to reach. Expect kind of the same stuff I talk about here: motherhood, bioethics, moral theology, current events, maybe a little politics and some cultural trends. Speaking of podcasts, I had the pleasure of returning for a chat with Haley and Christy over at Fountains of Carrots last month and we had a lot of slightly irreverent fun talking about NFP. Go forth.

Here’s to another Monday on the books.

(what I’d like to do with a gluten free 40 if not for bebe on board.)

 

18 Comments

  • Reply Karyn July 17, 2017 at 6:02 pm

    This is my first autumn baby and we don’t have AC and our van is so large that the AC takes way too long to cool it off, if it ever does. I keep trying to figure out if I can crawl into the fridge. Anyway, I told my husband that we are never having sex again during the months of December, January, or February, lol

    My request regarding the podcasts….please don’t stop writing! I’m the opposite and rarely listen to things because I can’t hear over the cacophony of my house.

  • Reply Caroline July 17, 2017 at 7:37 pm

    Saint camp! Totus Tuus? Three of mine are headed there next week! Too funny. Saint camp!

  • Reply Sheila July 17, 2017 at 7:54 pm

    My youngest daughter (of three) went through a phase a couple months ago (15 mo at the time?) of taking off her pants and then sometimes her diaper. She was the first in “sposies” after two cloth diaper babies and we hadn’t run into this problem before, so I took one of my old cloth diaper covers and fastened it (snaps) over her sposies, and she never figured out how to undo the snaps, so then lost interest. Can you borrow a cloth dipe from anyone in Denver? I could mail one to you. Added difficulty for a more determined/skilled child could be fastening the cloth diaper backwards. Whatever you do, good luck and God bless you! I’ll say a prayer for your house hunting, etc.

    • Reply Mary July 18, 2017 at 7:09 am

      We do the same with our 2.5 year old. Thank the Lord for cloth diaper covers that snap!! :oD

  • Reply Lorna July 18, 2017 at 2:11 am

    I’ll say a prayer for your house hunting – and also for the AND. We too have a month to go until school starts and I am facing the mountain of name labels and school clothes – and I only have 1 at proper school! All the horrible/challenging/nasty/upsetting phases of life do pass – but you gotta live through them first! You are not now – nor are you ever alone, and hey – you have AC?? Almost nowhere has AC here and I don’t like being too hot!!!

  • Reply Kathleen July 18, 2017 at 4:06 am

    I am sitting around debating whether to attempt potty training my 2 year old (and some change) before my baby comes . I have friends who say do it but when I asked him he said “I not a big boy, I a baby.” So maybe not.

    • Reply jeanette July 18, 2017 at 1:32 pm

      that’s too cute!

    • Reply Anamaria July 20, 2017 at 1:33 pm

      Diaper Free Before Three is a good method and gives you lots of reasons why this is good for the child. It tries your patience but is really good for them (and, ultimately, for you!). You will realize when the new baby comes that he is not a baby anymore.

  • Reply Sarah July 18, 2017 at 5:37 am

    Praying you find a home soon! I am sure this period of waiting will produce a wonderful home for you, but I can’t imagine your stress and struggles while you wait!

  • Reply K July 18, 2017 at 7:34 am

    I never understand why people make unhelpful comments??!! When we sold our house (while pregnant), there was a very scary period of not knowing where we were going to end up. Even though I was completely stressed out & even looking at temporary housing options, there was never a moment I regretted selling the old place! It really felt like a huge weight had been lifted and that helped me through all the anxiety of a house hunt in the third trimester!

  • Reply Hannah July 18, 2017 at 8:17 am

    Bah, house hunting is the worst, even in a relatively normal housing market. Prayers you find something soon. But amen on the thankfulness for AC & carseats to keep kids contained/transportation in general.

  • Reply Jenn July 18, 2017 at 8:57 am

    I’m sure this is something you have already done, but just in case, have you ever looked into building a house? Our first house was a new build and if you get something that isn’t custom it can get finished awfully quickly. Of course you’d be still in borrowed housing for awhile, but at least you have a clear date of when the house would be finished and you’d be settled.

  • Reply Allison July 18, 2017 at 9:10 am

    A podcast! What a dream come true. I look forward to hearing your thoughts on a new medium.

  • Reply jeanette July 18, 2017 at 1:39 pm

    I was hoping your long pause in writing meant you found a house. So sorry to hear it didn’t turn out for you. I know how frustrating it is. We just made an offer, too. Full price. They turned us down and took the house off the market for a week. Raised the price by 10K and put it back on. Fishing for a better offer, they had an open house Sunday. Yesterday our realtor said it went pending. Back to the drawing board with you. Be hopeful.

  • Reply Lyssa Davoust July 18, 2017 at 2:58 pm

    SO. EXCITED. to read that you’ll be podcast-ing! I can’t wait to listen to you!

    Prayers that your fam find the perfect house ASAP.

    Lyssa from Waco 🙂

  • Reply Vanessa July 19, 2017 at 12:52 pm

    Enjoyed your podcast with Haley! I didn’t have a chance to fill out the survey, but one thing I’ve encountered in trying to share information at our parish about NFP has been a resistance to a particular method (Marquette) from our diocesan NFP coordinator. On several different occasions, from trying to find more information about Marquette as a engaged couple to trying to share our experience with couples at our parish, our diocesan coordinator has shown bias towards the sympto-thermal method and has some misconceptions about the Marquette method. Our priest was very willing for us to help women get connected to NFP instructors until he spoke with our diocesan coordinator. It’s a shame because no method is perfect for every couple and we are so lucky to have different options so our diocesan coordinators should be helping couples find the right method for them instead of limiting information.

    Also, I happened to meet Fr. James Claver at my friend’s wedding in Corpus Christi a few weekends ago! He said that you might be having him on your podcast which is wonderful! Look forward to it.

  • Reply Alice July 20, 2017 at 11:55 am

    All the sympathy on house hunting. If it helps, I’m jealous that you even have houses to look at. We have 3 kids in a 1000 sqft townhouse, in a superheated housing market; been looking for 2+ years; I’ve resigned myself to the 4th and 5th also arriving in this house. . .

    Anyway, about potty training: go for it! My oldest, a girl, potty trained at 21 months (still in diapers for naps and bedtime for a few months after). My second, first boy, trained at 18/19 months, two weeks after the third was born. The second one was easier than the first, because I just skipped training pants and went straight to underwear. You have to make up your mind to 2-3 days of lots of accidents, but then it gets way better. I love having them potty trained early. So many fewer diapers, so much more hygienic, and I feel like it respects their personhood. Now, I had been sitting them on the potty for several months before, so they knew what the concept was, but I’ve also seen lots about training 18month olds from scratch, so you can do it. 🙂 Better now than after the baby is born; that’s my main resolution for whenever a fourth one appears.

  • Reply Anamaria July 20, 2017 at 1:37 pm

    Not to get into potty-training mommy-war territory…. but a child who is taking off their diaper (at 23 months or 15) is asking to be taught to use the potty, and they are certainly old enough to learn (well, in the case of the 15 month old, begin to learn). Yes, there will be regressions when a new baby comes, but it is not the same as having to re-teach them. It is respectful of their dignity to teach them- and certainly possible. A hundred years ago, the average child was out of diapers by 18 months (maybe earlier? I can’t remember for sure). Diaper Free Before Three is a good slow method. At 23 months they are old enough for a three day bootcamp kind of thing.

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