November 10, 2009

I Trust You

By Beth LeDuc *
God, I don’t know what to write. I only want to be your instrument. I only want to write your words. Are you not speaking any to me? Is silence your message?  If you want to use me as your instrument, then hurry up and do it because we both know I need to go to sleep.

All right then, I suppose I want to say a few things to you. I know you are aware that I am graduating in May. I also know that you have some exciting and fulfilling purpose for me.  So, with knowledge of your good plan, my heart is working on convincing my mind to calm down and trust that you will lead me where you need me.

However, before my mind is completely convinced to adapt a holy indifference to your will, I want you to know a few things. I know you already know my dreams. But, please, don’t forget that I like adventures. I love to be creative. I so terribly want to travel the world. I am passionate about conquering the loneliness my generation is secretly suffering from. I’d like to be surrounded by moderate and down to earth people. I thrive in challenging environments, and my biggest fear regarding my future is living a mediocre life. Just want to make sure you remember these things.

Sorry, God, for that last paragraph. Like any of that was a surprise to your omniscient self. I’m still working on the trust thing. I know you know what will make me happy. I know you want me to be happy. I trust you. I mean, I’m trying to trust you. Ok, I do. I trust you.
Beth LeDuc grew up in Lincoln, Nebraska, where she spent her first semester of college at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln. Currently, she is studying Philosophy and Art at Benedictine College in Kansas.

* Catholic News Agency columns are opinion and do not necessarily express the perspective of the agency.


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