Mar 5, 2008
Dear Anthony,
I purchased your Road to Cana DVD to help me discern whether marriage is my vocation, and I was surprised by the episode on “What Men and Women Want” regarding a woman giving up her career if she married. You advised that many women share this view. I have found nothing in Church law to support this choice. Is this something expected of a Catholic or did I misunderstand?
No, there certainly is nothing in “Church law” that says a woman must give up her career when marrying. That would be absurd, actually. However, many, many, many good Catholic women very much want to be stay-at-home moms and raise their own children, and take care of their family. There is a lot of work involved in tending to a home and family, and raising children. The women who are in careers are very open to leaving their careers for this very noble life of working from home, focused on the family. That is a very traditional role for women, and many Catholic women want to adopt this life when they are married. Men sometimes misunderstand a woman who has a career as being someone who wants to have both a career and a family. It is no crime to want this, or to do it after marriage and having children. But it is common knowledge (regardless of it not being Church law) that a stay-at-home wife/mother makes for a solid family structure and goes a long way toward keeping a family stable and safeguarding against divorce. But most of all, there is plenty of evidence that the children become much better and balanced adults when they have had a mother at home to bring stability and love to the home.