Catholic & Single
Catholic & Single

3.6.13
Get over it!
By Anthony Buono
Have you ever had someone tell you to get over it when you’re expressing the pain of a failed relationship?

10.30.12
How well can you train a man?
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

12.11.12
How is a relationship like a garage sale?
By Anthony Buono
... from a distance it looks like it could be interesting, but up close, it’s just a ton of crap you don’t need.

11.13.12
Does love mean never having to say you’re sorry?
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

1.22.13
Why marriage is the cure to selfishness
By Anthony Buono
I read a recent article that started out by saying that “all marriages start off very selfishly.” He went on to say that people realize into the marriage that they can’t be so selfish and act accordingly.  It’s not quite that simple.

9.12.12
Seven types of false love
By Anthony Buono
There is nothing quite like being in love and sharing a loving relationship. You often hear about finding “true love,” but we seldom stop to think about what that means.

8.23.12
Would you date you?
By Anthony Buono
Would the type of person you are praying to meet and fall in love with find you attractive?

7.25.12
Opposites attract, but can they go the distance?
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

7.11.12
Finding a good Catholic restaurant
By Anthony Buono
“I know a great little place where we can get some good, authentic Catholic cuisine.” How would you react if your date made that statement? If you’re being honest, wouldn’t you silently stare at that person with a blank look on your face, and think to yourself “Um…I think I’ll go home now?”

6.27.12
Tired of being alone, or, the singles trap
By Anthony Buono
“Dear Anthony,

6.6.12
Marriage of the Lamb
By Anthony Buono
No matter how many times I attend Mass, I still rarely attend with the presence of mind to realize I am attending a marriage ceremony.  The most central and important aspect of my Christian life, and it just doesn’t occur to me that this is a wedding taking place.

5.9.12
The Vow: a story of true love
By Anthony Buono
About a month ago, I went to see the movie “The Vow” fully prepared for it to be an overall disappointment.  It certainly delivered, except for one scene that actually makes the movie worth seeing. The mother tells her upset daughter that she stayed with her husband after learning of his lengthy affair because she decided she was not going to punish him for his one mistake. She stayed with him because of all the things he did right, not the one thing he did wrong.

4.18.12
Bring your luggage, don’t lug your baggage
By Anthony Buono
If you haven’t yet seen the film "October Baby" yet, find the time to do so. I can’t recommend it strongly enough. It’s one of the best films I’ve ever seen.

4.4.12
Meditation on the Crucifix
By Anthony Buono
“We become what we love and who we love shapes what we become. If we love things, we become a thing. If we love nothing, we become nothing. Imitation is not a literal mimicking of Christ, rather it means becoming the image of the beloved, an image disclosed through transformation. This means we are to become vessels of God´s compassionate love for others."

3.28.12
I only have eyes for you
By Anthony Buono
In 1959, The Flamingos sang the romantic song, “I Only Have Eyes For You,” telling of love’s blindness to surroundings while eyes are fixed on the beloved.

3.21.12
'Sorry' seems to be the hardest word
By Anthony Buono
The association to being a Christian and a Catholic comes with a great personal responsibility. It is no doubt an expectation of those who know us to be a Christian that we act like one. This is a natural expectation.

3.7.12
Fasting that can help your love life
By Anthony Buono
Lent is a time when we make an attempt to address things about our corporeal and spiritual lives that need addressing.

2.28.12
Attachment in human love
By Anthony Buono
Love between a man and a woman is one of the most beautiful things in the world. But what happens when the love with that person becomes the most important thing in your life? There is nothing more natural than wanting to be loved. We need it. We need it from our parents and family as we grow up, and we need it as we interact socially as adults.

2.15.12
Just give me a hug
By Anthony Buono
If you don’t know the power of a hug, then you are probably not having much success in your relationships.

2.8.12
The silent treatment
By Anthony Buono
Have you ever given or received the silent treatment? Chances are good that most of you have. I think this AT&T commercial about the silent treatment is very clever and will give you a good laugh. Like most jokes, there is an element of truth to it. In particular, the angst that accompanies the silent treatment, as portrayed by the girl in this commercial.

2.1.12
Anxiety about being single
By Anthony Buono
Anyone who is not yet married gave a little cringe when hearing the words of St. Paul in the second reading of the Mass this past Sunday, taken from 1 Corinthians, Chapter 7:32-35. Basically, the advice of St. Paul is to remain unmarried because to marry is a distraction to focusing on the things of the Lord. He is quick to say that this is just his opinion and said not to put restraint on you, but rather it’s for your own benefit.

1.25.12
Love is not enough: Charity matters
By Anthony Buono
So just how selfish of a person are you? Answer: Very. Don’t worry, it’s not just you. We all are. Without a realization and admission of selfishness in your life, you lack the true charity required to successfully live out marital love. Therefore, your dating efforts are extremely risky.

1.18.12
True modesty
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony, I am dating a woman I met on Ave Maria Singles that I am very attracted to. The problem is, I think I am lusting after her. I don’t want to but I can’t help it. She dresses in a way that I should probably have a problem with. I like it and hate it at the same time. Why is that? And what should I do about it? I am worried that I might not find her as attractive if she dressed differently.

1.11.12
New Year's resolutions for singles
By Anthony Buono
Another year, another long list of New Year’s resolutions waiting to be broken or fizzle out. I am not much of a New Year’s resolution person, but many are. God bless them! The spirit of wanting to make a change for the better is alive and well, especially in January. Most people fail at keeping their New Year’s resolution. Perhaps it’s because they pledge the improbable (like never eating another cookie) or they aim too, high too fast and then get discouraged (like quitting smoking cold turkey). Perhaps it is because, like typically done at Lent, they only focus on giving up something negative instead of doing something positive (like being nicer to someone). The most amusing thing to me is that it is the same old raggedy resolutions every year (like taking off those added pounds from Christmas festivities).

1.4.12
Imitation of the Holy Family
By Anthony Buono
This is the time of year when Christians are most focused on the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph. Reflection on the Holy Family is more than just the Nativity scene. Naturally, Christmas focuses on the birth of the Savior, and Mary and Joseph play key roles in this most important event. The Child born in Bethlehem in a stable is, no doubt, what Christmas is all about.

12.7.11
Are you dating a Pharisee?
By Anthony Buono
Do you feel that you are dating someone who strikes you as having an overly high moral, education or even cultural standard?  Do you feel like your every action is being observed?  Is the person overly critical of you?  Are they quick to find fault in you but not in themselves?  Do they make you feel like your level of religious practice or approach to life is not on par with theirs?  Do you get the impression your past sins are interpreted as who you really are now? 

11.16.11
When siblings disagree with your choice of a spouse
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

10.26.11
Your relationship deserves a good home (Part II)
By Anthony Buono
Home is the place where we feel safe, where we can shut out the world, enjoy the people we love and who love us, be accepted for who we are, and always go if something is wrong.

10.19.11
Your relationship deserves a good home.
By Anthony Buono
“With the Lord, there is mercy and fullness of redemption.” This responsorial psalm is derived from Psalm 130, which has the trembling words “If Thou, O Lord, should mark iniquities, who could stand?” In other words, if You keep a record of sins, who could ever make it to heaven?

10.12.11
Are you dating prayerfully?
By Anthony Buono
Many unmarried persons are seriously interested in finding love and getting married, and are serious about their religious beliefs and sharing that faith with someone in marriage.

10.5.11
Dating someone unfit for marriage
By Anthony Buono
Marriage is a practical sacrament and institution. It requires two people who not only “want” to be married, but are capable of living out marriage. Too often, people go into marriage full of love and good intention, but no personal skills to fulfill their role.

9.21.11
Is your love life childish?
By Anthony Buono
We’re like children, we’re not men! Classic line of a favorite Seinfeld episode I got to watch again the other day called “The Engagement.” I can’t help smiling even as I recall it to write this article.

9.14.11
Do men think smart girls are unattractive?
By Anthony Buono
Dumb guys go for dumb girls, and smart guys go for dumb girls. So what do smart girls get? A cat!

9.7.11
For successful dating, love yourself
By Anthony Buono
In the Sunday reading of St. Paul this week, we heard how the proof of love is that we love our neighbor as ourselves.

8.24.11
Should we get engaged?
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

8.17.11
I want to hold your hand
By Anthony Buono
Few things are as beautiful and inspirational to me as being on the beach. There is something about watching the sea and listening to the waves crash against the shore that uplifts my spirits, clears my mind, and brings out creativity. In fact, I am at the beach right now as I write.

8.10.11
Can I afford to date?
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

8.3.11
The roles of men and women
By Anthony Buono
I have to laugh a bit as I write this article responding to the feedback of last week’s article, responding to a previous article, responding to the feedback from a previous article.

7.27.11
Wanted: Dating Catholic Male
By Anthony Buono
I thought I might make a kind of a “job description” for men interested in dating and finding love that ends in sacramental marriage. It might read something like this:

7.13.11
Warning: Dating the previously married
By Anthony Buono
Many single Catholics who have never been married have no interest in considering someone who has been married before as a future spouse. Not even those eligible for sacramental marriage who have a decree of nullity.

7.6.11
Finding a good man (from God's point of view)
By Anthony Buono
Some time ago I wrote about a good wife from God’s point of view. Since then, many have written to me requesting that I write about a good husband from God’s point of view. I put it off because unlike the Scripture passages that specifically say “A good wife....,” there are no passages that specifically say “A good husband...”

6.29.11
Is it okay to date multiple people?
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

6.22.11
Calling after the first date
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

6.15.11
Is unconditional love realistic for marriage?
By Anthony Buono
It is a popular notion that the love between a man and a woman should be unconditional; without any condition of love in return by the other. This is a very romantic notion. Who wouldn’t want to be loved unconditionally in marriage?

6.8.11
Confirmed Bachelor: Why good men stay single
By Anthony Buono
Sorry, guys. This article is specifically to discuss the things men do wrong when it comes to getting to the bottom line; marriage and family life. I earnestly want to see confirmed bachelor syndrome die. I see too many men subscribing to the deception. Permit me to give you my top 5 symptoms of confirmed bachelor syndrome.

6.1.11
Can you handle the unexpected?
By Anthony Buono
The ease of a relationship is usually what makes two people dating believe they have found “the one.”

5.25.11
Taking a break from a relationship
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

5.18.11
A real person can truly love
By Anthony Buono
"Real isn't how you are made. It's a thing that happens to you. You become."

5.11.11
Dating with a double standard
By Anthony Buono
In Psalm 81, God is anxious for us to allow Him to take care of us. If only we would keep faith and trust in Him! He reminds us of all He has done and what He is capable of. “Open wide your mouth and I will fill it.” That is His promise to us.

5.4.11
Not waiting around to be pursued
By Anthony Buono
Don’t you get tired of there being so many rules about dating? It can be exhausting thinking so much about something that should be natural and spontaneous.

4.27.11
Meditation on the crucifix for single Catholics
By Anthony Buono
For Catholics, the Crucifix is essential for living our daily lives. The Crucifix is the symbol of Christ’s ultimate act of love for us. The Crucifix depicts Jesus nailed to the cross and dying for our sins. We hang a crucifix on the walls of our homes and wear a crucifix on a chain around our necks so that we will be visibly reminded of Jesus’ love for us and our redemption.

4.20.11
What we learn while dating
By Anthony Buono
I don’t think anyone would disagree that dating is a learning process. Understanding the opposite sex is a challenge.

4.8.11
A lesson in love from mythology
By Anthony Buono
It is a nightly ritual in my house that I read a story to my two youngest girls and then a story to my four boys. We all look forward to this very much. So between 7:00 to 8:00 pm, it’s story time. The girls love the fairy tales or things like the Beezus and Ramona series. The boys like the classic adventure and fantasy stories.

3.31.11
Time is not on my side
By Anthony Buono
Lent is a period of time where reflection on our time on this earth should be pondered, and changes in our lives made based on this reflection.

3.23.11
The psychological in dating
By Anthony Buono
The psychological make up of a person is critical to marriage, because it is critical to the individual person. In marriage we must make a free will decision to commit ourselves to one person.

3.16.11
Average is the new hot
By Anthony Buono
“Hot” seems to have become the most common adjective men and women use to describe the visual pleasure factor of each other.

3.9.11
Dating a dualistic person
By Anthony Buono
The Gospel reading for this past Sunday shows Jesus driving home the objective fact that only those who do the Father’s will are going to make it to heaven. Our Lord must have encountered a great deal of excuse makers who though they were assured of getting into heaven.

3.2.11
Is online dating like trying to play God?
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

2.23.11
When you can't forget the past
By Anthony Buono
Recently, I wrote that a key thing to working through being hurt is to forgive and forget. This is how God deals with our offenses against Him, therefore we are required to do the same. I assumed this was common knowledge.

2.16.11
Are we too sensitive to find love?
By Anthony Buono
Part of the frustrations of dating include the hurts one inevitably experiences. Both men and women get their fair share, and the hurts must be lived with and overcome.

2.10.11
Are women unappreciative?
By Anthony Buono
What is wrong with some women today?

2.2.11
How to reject someone thoughtfully
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

1.26.11
How kissing affects chastity
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

1.19.11
How to date someone who fears divorce
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

1.12.11
How to approach a cohabitating couple
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony, I just read advice you gave to a woman concerning dating a divorced man. I have a beautiful stepdaughter who is living with a divorced man who has two children. Please, can you give me, her stepmother, some practical advice on how to approach her on this subject, how to show her that I love her, but at the same time, not compromise the Truth. I do not want to create any more of a wedge between us.

1.5.11
Let's (not) spend the night together
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

12.22.10
What not to do on a first date
By Anthony Buono
Few experiences in life can be more nerve-wracking than going on a first date. There is great anticipation. You’re excited. You’re nervous. You’re not sure what to expect.

12.15.10
Are you dating someone 'too' Catholic?
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

12.8.10
What's wrong with Lino Rulli?
By Anthony Buono
In case you don’t know, Lino Rulli is the host of “The Catholic Guy” show on Sirius Satellite Radio, on which I am frequently a guest. Lino and I have a great time on his program as we attempt to address issues single Catholics face. Lino also happens to be an eligible bachelor.

12.1.10
Cut the 'friend fat' out of your life
By Anthony Buono
Take a look at this Jimmy Kimmel video where he declares “National Unfriend Day” (with a funny cameo by William Shatner). He questions the concept of Facebook “friends.” He encourages people to “unfriend” those who aren’t true friends.

11.24.10
Do single men put the toilet seat down?
By Anthony Buono
Picture Dwight Schrute saying, “Question. Do single men put the toilet seat down?” That’s a good question, Dwight.  

11.17.10
How to move on after a break up
By Anthony Buono
You have broken up with your boyfriend or girlfriend. Your marriage you hoped would last has ended in divorce. Your spouse has died leaving you a widow. How do you move on?

11.10.10
Is marriage really forever?
By Anthony Buono
Sunday’s Gospel reading (Lk 20:27-38) addressed marriage, though its purpose was to question the resurrection. However, it does give a married person some pause when heard. The Sadducees, who do not believe in the Resurrection, attempt to trip Jesus up. They outline the story of a woman who was married to seven brothers at one point in her life before dying herself, and they ask the question of whose wife will the woman be in the resurrection.

11.3.10
Dating a divorced Catholic
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

10.27.10
Is praying for a spouse realistic?
By Anthony Buono
The readings for Sunday Mass this past week bring out essential truths about how God works in our lives when it comes to prayer. Those truths are: God waits for our prayers, hears our prayers, and acts on our prayers. We have to pray if God is to act. God’s action is our lives is the philosophical principle of causality. If you pray to God, then He will act.

10.20.10
Do you love me?
By Anthony Buono
My son’s high school is ambitiously attempting to perform “Fiddler on the Roof” for the school play. In preparation for tryouts, we watched the film as a family. It was the first time for all the kids and they loved it. The story brilliantly shows how the story of love for each couple can vary greatly, but still accomplishes the end goal.

10.13.10
How can you become friends first with online dating?
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony, I heard your "Friendship First" radio show. I do believe friendship should come first in a relationship. However, it seems to me that with online dating, the relationship is already more than a friendship. Courtship seems to begin right away. It is not a natural way to meet people, let alone become friends. Do you have any tips about fostering friendship with online dating?

9.29.10
Can Mass get in the way of our relationship?
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

9.22.10
Finding a good woman: from God's point of view
By Anthony Buono
I was at a restaurant for lunch today and saw an amusing sign that said "If you don’t like my attitude, stop talking to me." Sometimes I wonder if this isn’t what women are saying to men today. And sure enough, men do stop talking to women when they don’t like their attitude.

9.15.10
Why cruise with AMS?
By Anthony Buono
Here is a brief interview I gave answering some questions about why everyone should join us on our Mexican Riviera cruise. 

9.9.10
Men pay, women save
By Anthony Buono
Who would have guessed that the concept of who should pay on a date, the man or the woman, would be of such interest to debate? I wouldn’t have. I have to say that I never really gave it a thought until I started getting asked the question often and seeing it talked about on other websites and in books. It even came up on our “Road To Cana” program (I believe it is in the “Red Flags: Part 2” episode of Season 2). People seem to want to know once and for all who should pay on a date, the man or the woman (or both)?

9.1.10
Can a computer do the matchmaking?
By Anthony Buono
It’s a crazy age we live in, isn’t it? We probably don’t give much thought to just how strange our ways would seem to people from ages past. This holds particularly true when it comes to dating and getting married.

8.25.10
Should I be flirting more?
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony: I feel that I am competing with women who are more flirtatious than me. A nice mam I am seeing likes to look at women who dress a little more provocative and who flirt. I am not like that; I'm just myself. I dress modern and pretty, but I don't really like to show too much flesh or wear things that make certain parts of my body stand out. Is that so wrong? I'm not "prudish", but I respect myself and believe God expects women to behave appropriately. Do I need to be more flirty, or should I just continue being the way I believe I should be?

8.18.10
An Alternative Route
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony, I really thought that I had found “the one,” but things didn’t work out. In trying to find peace in this, I find myself increasingly frustrated. How could God allow me to go so far astray? I want to do God’s will, but I also want to shake this feeling like God knew everything that would happen and allowed it.

8.11.10
How women are affected by porn
By Anthony Buono
I just read a great article on the Covenant Eyes website about women who are affected by porn called "My Drug & His Poison: My Boyfriend Was Hooked On Porn". Men should read this and learn. Women should read it and be prepared. I thought it was excellent how she brings up the part of how her boyfriend became her drug; how she depended on her boyfriend to be everything to her, particularly in ways that only God can be for us. It is a great example of how we must not expect those we date and marry to never fail us, or hurt us. Only God can accomplish that. Granted, pornography abuse is much different than many other issues a couple will face. But because so many men are affected by pornography at some level, women have to learn how to deal with it properly so they do not make the matter worse with their boyfriends or husbands, and so they can have a positive approach to resolving and healing the problem.

8.4.10
Key Ingredients of Love and Marriage That Lasts
By Anthony Buono
I just came across this obituary of a married Catholic couple, Lou and Patricia DeMuro, who died on the same day after 62 years of marriage. It's a real old-fashioned love story.

7.28.10
It's not about being good enough
By Anthony Buono
In the past two posts we have discussed being “good enough” for someone you are dating. This is a temptation that many experience.  It’s easy to cut yourself down, or put someone on a pedestal.  

7.21.10
Humility in being "good enough"
By Anthony Buono
(In response to Lisa’s comment on “I’m not good enough for you” article, whose comment is paraphrased here):

7.14.10
I'm not good enough for you
By Anthony Buono
I did a radio interview where the topic of fear in not being good enough for someone came up. I thought it would be a good thing to talk about a little more thoroughly then we covered on the air.

7.7.10
The difference between courtship and dating
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

6.30.10
Compatibility: A Closer Look
By Anthony Buono
I read a lot of marriage and relationship books. The subject of compatibility comes up often. One I read recently concluded that a marriage can legitimately be over if compatibility problems are discovered along the way. This idea of compatibility being the basis of a good and happy marriage is widely accepted.

6.23.10
Dr. John Fraunces - Facing Our Fears
By Anthony Buono
I interview Dr. John Fraunces about confronting the uncertainties in life in spite of our fears.

6.16.10
Why aren't I getting replies?
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

6.9.10
Shouldn’t we work on ourselves to be better prepared for marriage?
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

6.2.10
Persevering through unchaste temptations
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony, I am a chaste woman who takes the teachings of the Church seriously. I have been dating Catholic men for 30 years and have grown discouraged that I will ever meet the right person. Sadly, most of these men I've dated make no apology for wanting to have sex with me. When they see I am adamantly never going to give in and am saving myself for marriage, they lose interest. I realize human beings are weak, but I don't understand why I am able to combat temptations of the flesh but so many are not. I feel like I am going crazy, and I don't like feeling that I need to give in to pre-marital sex just to win a man.

5.26.10
Choose a Truth Seeker
By Anthony Buono
Single persons have lots of opinions about what things they should be looking for in their future spouse as they go through the dating process.   Most of their opinions derive from their checklist of things they want in a person they believe could make them happy.  Having a checklist is a normal thing.  We all have them.  The danger, however, is that the checklist is ever-growing; constantly undergoing revision and additions with each passing year.

5.19.10
The Power of Habits
By Anthony Buono
I came across an excellent article about habits and how significant they are in the human experience called "The Power of Habits: A Tool for Christian Counselors".  It is for counselors to use, but is interesting for anyone.  As you may already know, "virtues" are Christian habits.  So if we develop good habits, we are a better person, thus capable of being virtuous, as required in our Christian faith.  I like this article so much, I just wanted to share it with you in its entirety.   It is taken from the Covenant Eyes website, which focuses on helping with online accountability, and has an outreach to helping people with pornography issues.  But this short article by Rick Thomas is insightful about habits and I thought I would share it with you:   Part of God’s kindness to us is that he wired us to be habitual. Habits are very good things. Habits make us better people. Imagine riding a bicycle while looking at your feet to make sure your feet are placed on the pedals. Imagine trying to type while watching your fingers make each key stroke. Imagine running while watching each foot placement on the road. Imagine trying to get out of bed in the morning, while focusing on each muscle movement to make sure they all move in an appropriate and synergetic way. Habits serve us well.

5.12.10
Act Like You Want To Date
By Anthony Buono
I want to share with you a note I received from a woman who is struggling to figure out what more she can do to improve her chances of meeting her future husband. I found it to be very insightful and I think many of you could find it useful for your own dating purposes (married purposes, too, for that matter). It applies to men, as well.

5.5.10
Seeking a Traveling Man
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

4.28.10
Should Men Take Initiative?
By Anthony Buono
Fr. C. John McCloskey talks about whether or not it is the man's role to propose marriage.

4.21.10
Making the Commitment
By Anthony Buono
Fr. Tom Morrow explains how commitment to Christ makes other commitments easier.

4.14.10
Dr. John Fraunces: Unrealistic Expectations
By Anthony Buono
Anthony interviews Dr. John Fraunces about the frustrations that can result from setting up unrealistic ideals.

4.7.10
In Heaven, WHO are you? Part 3: Influence of God
By Anthony Buono
Last time, we talked about how other people influence who we become as a person. And because we have an influence on who other people become, we need to be a positive influence by being a good person. This kind of person (the good person) is what God calls us to be, and it is a call to love. We then touched on how God influences who comes into our lives. In this final part, I want to talk more about God influencing persons coming together, and the relationship with God Himself affecting who we are in Heaven.

3.31.10
In Heaven, WHO are you? Part 2: Influence of others
By Anthony Buono
In the first part, I spoke about what is meant by “who” when we think of who we will be in Heaven, and about what kind of person we will be there. To get to Heaven we need to be a “good” person here, and that person will continue in Heaven.

3.24.10
In Heaven, WHO are you? - Part 1 of 2
By Anthony Buono
In my line of work (dating and marriage), I know there are many single people (and married people) who live disconnected from the relationship between our bodily life here and our heavenly life to come. There should be a much greater realization that our bodies play a role in our getting to Heaven (or hell, for that matter), and that same body is with us throughout eternity. Therefore, sometimes I like to take the time to talk about Heaven to help single people prepare for their role in their future marriage.

3.17.10
Fr. McCloskey: Self-Giving, The Way to Heaven
By Anthony Buono
Fr. C. John McCloskey  talks about the gift of self and how marriage is a way to holiness.

3.10.10
For Lent: Give Up the Pornography Mentality
By Anthony Buono
Lent is a time of abstaining from what we really do not need, or what we enjoy but can do without for a time. But for the serious Christian, Lent should also be that wonderful time of year when can work on breaking bad habits once and for all, by God’s grace. That requires facing ourselves honestly and confronting the things that are not easy to admit are bad habits.

3.3.10
Fr. Morrow: Finding Contentment and Yourself
By Anthony Buono
Fr. Tom Morrow discusses the need for singles to be anchored in the Church.

2.24.10
Are we too childish to date or get married?
By Anthony Buono
This 2010 snow blizzard stuff is for the birds! The kids love getting the snow in the winter here in Virginia, but this is ridiculous. Even the kids can’t go out when there is 2+ feet of snow. It’s beautiful and all, but it’s hard work to deal with. And this last Sunday, we had to miss Mass, and that is always a negative. So we just sat around the living room and read the readings of the day. It’s not the same.

2.10.10
I’m back after a long break
By Anthony Buono
Well, it’s been quite a while since I have written regularly on my blog. I have quite a backlog of questions I have not gotten to answer yet, and these questions are the primary source of my blog posts. I basically decided to slow things down with the blog as of June 2009 so I could put more attention in other important things. I have written here and there, but not as regularly as I used to. But I am now in a position to start writing regularly again. Let me share with you what has been going on in my time off:

2.15.10
February 14th is S.A.D.: Single Awareness Day
By Anthony Buono
Every year around Valentine’s Day, I get approached to be interviewed for articles being written about love and dating, or by people who want to talk about how Ave Maria Singles helps singles on Valentine’s Day.

2.10.10
Dr. John Fraunces: Taking Yourself Too Seriously
By Anthony Buono
Dr. John Fraunces discusses how being able to laugh at one's own shortcomings helps to reduce tension.

1.27.10
Fr. McCloskey: Taking Action
By Anthony Buono
Fr. C. John McCloskey discusses taking action to find the right person for marriage.

1.6.10
Dr. John Fraunces: What Is Happiness?
By Anthony Buono
Dr. John Fraunces discusses the meaning of happiness and how to share one's happiness with another person in courtship.

12.24.09
The Still of the Silence
By Anthony Buono
Usually at this time of year, I write something about how preparing for Christmas can feel bittersweet for those who are single. As I personally prepare for Christmas, I can’t help being caught up in the usual things we all can get caught up in. My goodness, now I have 2 feet of snow to dig out of with only one day until Christmas. My kids prayed for a white Christmas, but 3 inches would have been enough! My inclination was to be upset at the inconvenience of it. Yes, it’s beautiful, but how can one help but think of all it will take to get out of such a mess, and get everything done with such little time left before Christmas? To add to the temptation, my son’s birthday present was a hockey game we could not all get to because of the snow. What a disappointment, and financial loss. But as the snow kept falling and I was shoveling the cars out, I stopped for a long pause and just watched the snow. In the silence of that snowfall, the word that kept coming to mind was “blessing.” What a blessing that snow was! As beautiful as the snowfall was, its greatest blessing was the power of its silence. That silent beauty was able to grind things to an absolute halt. And a much-needed halt at that. Had it not been for this snow, I would have raced my way right to Christmas Eve. But as it happened, I was forced to stop and be steeped in the silent beauty and blessing of the snow.

12.23.09
Fr. McCloskey: Discernment and Finding the Right Person
By Anthony Buono
Fr. C. John McCloskey discusses finding the right person for marriage.

12.16.09
Fr. Morrow: How to Find God's Will in Your Life
By Anthony Buono
Anthony interviews Fr.Tom Morrow about how the commandments to love God and neighbor are the way to happiness and fulfillment.

12.9.09
Dr. John Fraunces: Can We Be Perfectly Happy in This Life?
By Anthony Buono
Dr. John Fraunces discusses our limitations in the amount of happiness we can experience in this world and how this realization affects one's search for the perfect person to marry.

12.2.09
Marrying a Mature Woman
By Anthony Buono
Anthony interviews Fr. C. John McCloskey about why a mature woman would make a great wife for an older man.

11.18.09
Fr. McCloskey: Starting a Family Later in Life
By Anthony Buono
Fr. C. John McCloskey discusses issues facing those who want to start a family later in life.

11.11.09
Fr. McCloskey: Putting Off Marriage
By Anthony Buono
Anthony spoke with Fr. C. John McCloskey about why putting off marriage is common in society today and is often a mistake.

11.4.09
Fr. McCloskey: Self-Giving within Marriage
By Anthony Buono
Anthony interviewed Fr. C. John McCloskey about how giving of oneself is at the heart of all true friendships, especially the unique friendship of marriage.

10.23.09
The frustration of getting no reply
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

10.15.09
Fr. McCloskey: Happiness in Marriage
By Anthony Buono
Anthony interviews Fr. C. John McCloskey about finding happiness in the context of marriage.

10.5.09
What should I do when I find myself becoming attracted to an old friend?
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

9.21.09
He’s too busy to meet me
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

9.2.09
Is there a "call" to marriage after not having the call for years prior?
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

8.25.09
How should I deal with my boyfriend’s past sexual experiences?
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

8.19.09
Should one be debt-free before marrying?
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

8.12.09
Is he interested or just being polite?
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

8.5.09
Should we wait to get married or break up and then get back together?
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

7.15.09
Is my being kind and chivalrous turning away women?
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

5.6.09
Friendship from a Man
By Anthony Buono
Women have an uncanny ability to make friends and be a friend. A good way to put it is that women are, by nature, inclined to care. Specifically, women care about people. They intuitively are capable of entering into the inner reality of human beings. This makes them capable of friendship.

4.29.09
The Senses in Dating: Conclusion - Conversion of the Senses
By Anthony Buono
Every Christmas I watch the 1951 movie "Scrooge" with Alistair Sim. At the end, when Scrooge is converted, he says the wonderful line, "My dear woman, I have not taken leave of my senses, I have come to them." It's a true conversion within that implies the five senses are now ordered toward their purpose.

4.22.09
The Senses in Dating: Part 4 - Touch
By Anthony Buono
In this installment, we cover probably the most obvious of the senses that applies to dating and marriage; namely, the sense of touch. It’s a fundamental aspect of the human experience to touch another human being. And in dating, if you have never touched the other person in a way such as holding hands, you will never get to the point of marriage. Touching is a requirement in modern dating in helping to realize love and develop the friendship level that leads to the desire to marry. I suppose it is the circumstances surrounding touch that need to be addressed.

4.15.09
The Senses in Dating: Part 3 - Smell and Taste
By Anthony Buono
Continuing this series on the senses and how they factor into dating, I decided to do the senses of smell and taste together because they are so intertwined that it’s difficult to consider one without the other at the same time.

4.8.09
The Senses in Dating: Part 2 - Hearing
By Anthony Buono
I stated in the first installment on the five senses and their role in dating that we come to all knowledge because of the five senses. People who fall in love and marry owe so much to their senses. And we can thank those senses for the life of grace we have. I also covered the sense of sight.

4.1.09
The Senses in Dating: Part 1 - Sight
By Anthony Buono
The five senses are the vehicles through which we come to know anything. There is nothing we learn that is not a direct result of the five senses: sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch. Our eyes, ears, nose, and mouth have to do with the first four. Touch has to do with what we touch with our hands or any other part of our body, as well as how we are touched by others on any part of our body. The brain, in turn, takes all information that comes through our senses and processes it. It is, therefore, obvious that without our bodies, we would never “know” anything, including God.

3.24.09
What singles can learn about St. Joseph
By Anthony Buono
My son and I share the name of Joseph in our names. My name is Anthony Joseph, and his is Joseph Anthony. He is 5 years old and he was very excited to go to Mass with me this morning for our feast day (March 19), and then go to breakfast afterward. As any good Catholics, we love St. Joseph in our house, and we will feast greatly today (the kids, of course, being excited that it is not a day of Lent and they can have dessert after dinner).

3.18.09
Pornography and Dating
By Anthony Buono
It's no secret that Catholics (primarily men) are struggling just as much as others in the world with a continuing problem with pornography.

3.11.09
Ann Hanincik: Thoughts on the Submissive Wife
By Anthony Buono
Anthony interviews Ann Hanincik about St. Paul's statement, "Wives, be submissive to your husbands."

3.4.09
Ann Hanincik: Community for Men
By Anthony Buono
Anthony interviews Ann Hanincik about the importance of community for men.

2.25.09
Ann Hanincik: What Women Want from Men
By Anthony Buono
Anthony interviews Ann Hanincik about what women want from men.

2.18.09
Observation from olden days of men seeking women
By Anthony Buono
I came across this treasure of wisdom from over 250 years ago regarding men and their approach to finding a wife, and thought it was worth sharing with you:

2.11.09
Do I need to correct all my flaws before I'm ready to marry?
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

2.4.09
Ann Hanincik: Communicating Man-to-Man
By Anthony Buono
Anthony interviews Ann Hanincik about communication between men.

1.28.09
Ann Hanincik: What Is Theology of the Body?
By Anthony Buono
Anthony interviews Ann Hanincik about Theology of the Body.

1.21.09
Ann Hanincik: Understanding Theology of the Body
By Anthony Buono
Anthony interviews Ann Hanincik about understanding Theology of the Body.

1.18.09
Ann Hanincik: Men Communicating with Each Other
By Anthony Buono
Anthony interviews Ann Hanincik about men communicating with each other.

1.14.09
Remembering Fr. Richard John Neuhaus
By Anthony Buono
I was sad to learn of the death of Fr. Richard John Neuhaus, who is modern Hero of Faith to me. His influences are too numerous than anyone can really know. I admired his focus, his clear thinking, his desire help people bring Christ into public life, and his complete, all-consuming life of faith. I also admired that he never sought to be personally in the public eye. That explains why there is so little video or audio footage of him being interviewed.

1.11.09
Ann Hanincik: Community and Marriage
By Anthony Buono
Anthony interviews Ann Hanincik about community and marriage.

1.1.09
Feeling alone again this Christmas?
By Anthony Buono
Christmas is an emotional time of year.

12.17.08
Fr. Neuhaus: Those Who Come from Divorce
By Anthony Buono
Anthony interviewed Fr. Richard John Neuhaus about the effects that divorce can have on one's future.

12.14.08
Ann Hanincik: Dating with a Purpose
By Anthony Buono
Anthony interviewed Ann Hanincik about dating with a purpose.

12.10.08
Ann Hanincik: Premarital Cohabitation and Communication
By Anthony Buono
Anthony interviewed Ann Hanincik about how living together before marriage can hurt communication, which is vital in any relationship.

12.3.08
Fr. Neuhaus: Taking Responsibility for Our Actions
By Anthony Buono
Anthony interviewed Fr. Richard John Neuhaus about taking responsibility for our actions.

11.30.08
Fr. Neuhaus: How to Sustain a Marriage
By Anthony Buono
Anthony interviewed Fr. Richard John Neuhaus about how to sustain a marriage.

11.26.08
Should I enroll in college while looking for a husband?
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

11.23.08
Fr. Groeschel: Being Open to Change
By Anthony Buono
Anthony interviewed Fr. Benedict Groeschel about how everyone can change for the better.

11.19.08
How can I tell when someone is really interested in me?
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

11.16.08
Fr. Neuhaus: Truth, Marriage and the Church
By Anthony Buono
Anthony interviewed Fr. Richard John Neuhaus about how one should view the truths and teachings of the Catholic Church.

11.12.08
Should I consider someone who has many children?
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

11.9.08
Ann Hanincik: Pursuing Your Vocation
By Anthony Buono
Anthony interviewed Ann Hanincik about being open to God's call.

11.5.08
Do opposite-sex friendships work in dating?
By Anthony Buono
I was speaking recently at a Theology on Tap and the subject of friendship with the opposite sex while dating came up.

10.29.08
How can we maintain our long-distance relationship?
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

11.2.08
Fr. Neuhaus: What It Means to Be Manly
By Anthony Buono
Anthony interviewed Fr. Richard John Neuhaus about what it means to be a true manly man.

10.26.08
Ann Hanincik: Making Important Decisions Together
By Anthony Buono
Anthony interviewed Ann Hanincik about how couples need to always communicate and be open to whatever God sends them.

10.22.08
Can one be too religious?
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

10.19.08
Fr. Groeschel: Contentment
By Anthony Buono
Anthony interviewed Fr. Benedict Groeschel about how today's culture keeps us from being content.

10.15.08
Is a modest wedding gown essential?
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

10.12.08
Fr. Groeschel: Promiscuity and the Need for True Repentance
By Anthony Buono
Anthony interviewed Fr. Benedict Groeschel about the need for true repentance after living a promiscuous lifestyle.

10.8.08
What happened to traditional wedding gowns?
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

10.1.08
Does a woman have to do the relocating?
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

10.5.08
Fr. Neuhaus: The Call to Marriage
By Anthony Buono
Anthony interviewed Fr. Richard John Neuhaus about the call to marriage, and how God works through this beautiful sacrament.

9.28.08
Ann Hanincik: How High or Low Should Your Expectations Be?
By Anthony Buono
Anthony interviewed Ann Hanincik about the problem with setting your expectations too high or too low.

9.24.08
Should I start a friendship with someone waiting for an annulment?
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

9.21.08
Fr. Neuhaus: Having the Courage to Decide
By Anthony Buono
Anthony interviewed Fr. Richard John Neuhaus about the importance of men being able to make commitments and decisions.

9.17.08
Finding a Husband: Mission Impossible?
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

9.14.08
Fr. Neuhaus: What Is Contentment?
By Anthony Buono
Anthony interviewed Fr. Richard John Neuhaus about contentment and inner serenity.

9.10.08
Should I avoid being alone with a man I'm meeting for the first time?
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

9.7.08
Dr. Fitzgibbons: Pornography
By Anthony Buono
Anthony interviewed Dr. Richard Fitzgibbons about the dangers of pornography and ways that men can fight against it.

9.3.08
Can fear of flying hurt a long-distance relationship?
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

8.31.08
Dr. Fitzgibbons: Friendship in Marriage
By Anthony Buono
Anthony interviewed Dr. Richard Fitzgibbons about John Paul II's analysis of intimacy, romance, and friendship in marriage.

8.27.08
Shouldn't a single mother indicate if the father is still in the picture?
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

8.24.08
Dr. Fitzgibbons: Virtue
By Anthony Buono
Anthony interviewed Dr. Richard Fitzgibbons about the importance of developing good habits.

8.20.08
Should I conquer my pornography habit before thinking about marriage?
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

8.17.08
Dr. Fitzgibbons: Three to Get Married
By Anthony Buono
Anthony interviewed Dr. Richard Fitzgibbons about Archbishop Fulton Sheen's book Three to Get Married.

8.10.08
Dr. Fitzgibbons: Stress and Responsibility
By Anthony Buono
Anthony interviewed Dr. Richard Fitzgibbons about the stress and anxiety that most men struggle with.

8.13.08
How may I express intimacy in a chaste manner while dating?
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

8.6.08
Is marrying a non-Catholic Christian worth considering?
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

8.3.08
Fr. McCloskey: Money and Having Children
By Anthony Buono
Anthony interviewed Fr. C. John McCloskey about the concerns that some young couples have about prioritizing finances over starting a family.

7.30.08
Is marrying someone from divorced parents a risk?
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

7.27.08
Dr. Fitzgibbons: Prayer in Relationships
By Anthony Buono
Anthony interviews Dr. Richard Fitzgibbons about the importance of prayer and how it can heal problems in relationships.

7.20.08
Fr. McCloskey - The Importance of Upbringing
By Anthony Buono
Anthony interviews Fr. C. John McCloskey about the importance of one's upbringing.

7.13.08
Dr. Fitzgibbons: What Has Happened to Marriage?
By Anthony Buono
Anthony interviewed Dr. Richard Fitzgibbons about what has happened to marriage in today's culture.

7.23.08
Physical Presence
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

7.16.08
Considering Temperament
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

7.9.08
Standoffish Women
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

7.2.08
Is 60 too old to seek a woman in her 30s?
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

7.6.08
Fr. McCloskey: Objectifying Your Spouse
By Anthony Buono
Anthony interview Fr. C. John McCloskey about the dangers of viewing one's spouse as a sexual object.

6.29.08
Fr. McCloskey: What Men Look For in a Woman
By Anthony Buono
Anthony interview Fr. C. John McCloskey about his advice as to what men are looking for in a spouse.

6.24.08
Doesn't intercourse create a bond that cannot be undone?
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

6.22.08
Dr. Fitzgibbons: Role Models for Men
By Anthony Buono
Anthony interviewed Dr. Richard Fitzgibbons about role models for men.

6.18.08
Do chaste women have more difficulty finding a husband?
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

6.11.08
The Homeschooling Option
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

6.4.08
Should I enter a long-distance relationship?
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

5.21.08
What if I don't marry my soul mate?
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

5.7.08
When will he stop writing and meet me in person?
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

4.30.08
Are men just all talk and no action?
By Anthony Buono
It does seem apparent that there is a real problem of commitment among men. I have to first say that there are plenty of men who are action-takers and willing to make a commitment to a woman when the time and person are right. So don't be discouraged.

4.23.08
Where do I find Mr. Right?
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

4.16.08
How important are one's looks in finding true love?
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

4.9.08
Foreign Women and Cultural Differences
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

4.2.08
Should a couple's sex drives be compatible?
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

3.26.08
How God works in bringing people together
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

3.18.08
Is strong attraction necessary?
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

3.12.08
Pre-Marital Sex Harms Future Marriage
By Anthony Buono
Sexual promiscuity among single people is nothing new, nor is it considered that big of a deal these days. And I’m sure there has always been pre-marital sex throughout world history. It should also come as no surprise that even some Catholic Christians engage in pre-marital sex, and though that is surprising, it is still not “shocking” (though it should be).

3.5.08
Must a married woman give up her career?
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

2.27.08
Does age difference matter?
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

2.20.08
Vocation to the Single Life, Follow-Up
By Anthony Buono
This morning on my “Ask Anthony” segment on Sacred Heart Radio, I was asked if there is a vocation to the single life. It is not an easy question to answer in the five minutes that those segments go for. Unfortunately, the segment had to come to an end before I could make my last point.

2.13.08
Remember Death
By Anthony Buono
Just got back from Mass and receiving ashes for Ash Wednesday to start another Lenten season. Today is a special reminder to us from the Church that we are not only going to die one day, but that life is very short and that this body of ours is going to end up back to dust.

2.6.08
A Dancing Lesson from Sleeping Beauty
By Anthony Buono
Sunday I had a wonderful father-daughter outing with Lydia, my 5-year-old. I took her to the Kennedy Center to see a ballet production of Sleeping Beauty. Of course, like every normal little girl, Lydia is very much into all things “ballerina.” It was a fantastic production and Lydia loved every minute of it. I went to enjoy my daughter time, but found myself really enthralled in the performances. What an incredible amount of athletic ability is required to be a ballet dancer! And the men … my goodness, they must have needed to be oozing with male confidence to take up ballet. They were what struck me the most. These were very nice looking, very “manly” looking men performing their hearts out with an obvious talent for dance. I couldn’t help thinking about what their dating issues must be like.

1.31.08
What if I don't want to have ten kids?
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

1.8.08
Guarding the heart
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

1.8.08
Moving toward mutual exclusivity
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

1.8.08
Why are 20-somethings not marrying?
By Anthony Buono
I was just interviewed yesterday for a Catholic newspaper on the topic of Catholic singles who are in their 20's and are not marrying. The interviewer is trying to figure out why this is happening and offer practical answers on how to change this. The interviewer wants to know what the Church can do to better minister to single people about marrying young. He told me many are saying it is due to the poor catechesis these 20-somethings have had.

1.2.08
Living the virtue of chastity
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

1.16.08
Leading men
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

1.2.08
Reluctance to deep sharing
By Anthony Buono
Dear Anthony,

4.27.06
Knights in White Shoes
By Anthony Buono
I have had a very interesting six months in my research about what men and women want. By shear (and amusing) coincidence, I have had about a dozen women mention guys and (believe it or not) their shoes. Specifically, they have all commented on their negative impression of guys in white tennis shoes when dressed casually or on a date.

5.28.08
Ongoing Conversion - Turning away
By Anthony Buono
When I reverted back into the Catholic faith many years ago, there was so much excitement in me about what the life of conversion meant; namely turning away from my past life and turning toward Christ and His life.  I quickly learned that the Christian life is about ongoing conversion.  In other words, the conversion process never stops.  This is because we are daily sinners, therefore, there is always need for conversion in our lives.

1.4.06
The Faith Is Not Enough
By Anthony Buono
As single Catholics, it is likely your strongest desire to meet someone who shares the depth of your Catholic faith as a key foundation to your marriage.  

6.12.05
Where Is Mr./Ms. Right? (Part 3)
By Anthony Buono
My last two articles dealt with background on what is causing the problem of finding the right person. In this final installment, it is time to address directly the answer to the question of where is Mr./Ms. Right and how do you find that person.

11.10.05
Where Is Mr./Ms. Right? (Part 2)
By Anthony Buono
In my last article, I gave a prelude to the answer of “Where is Mr./Ms. Right?” by offering an explanation as to why it is so difficult today for single Catholics to find this person they seek for marriage. There were many reasons presented, but not the most important reason.

11.3.05
Where is Mr./Ms. Right? (Part 1 of 3)
By Anthony Buono
To find the right person for marriage today is no easy task for single Catholics.  Many wonder why it is God has not yet sent this person, despite their desire and readiness to be married. Unfortunately, there is more to it than simply the actuality that this person has not yet showed up on the scene.

5.14.08
Ready For Marriage
By Anthony Buono
So you are ready to be married? You’ve discerned it is your vocation and you long to share your life with someone special in a lifetime of love?

3.26.08
The Call to Marriage
By Anthony Buono
I have always been intrigued with the concept of a “call” from God regarding vocation.  When I came back into the Faith, I initially only hear the word “vocation” associated with priesthood or religious life.   “Do you have a vocation?”   Vocation Sunday is only about the priesthood or religious life.  So the idea of marriage as a vocation came later in my Catholic formation.

1.22.08
Singles…know thy self
By Anthony Buono
Too many Catholics are entering into marriage without an adequate knowledge of themselves or what marriage is.  Marriage is about self-donation (the gift of self), which implies having self-knowledge.   

Pope Francis in Chile and Peru

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