"For men, in a sense the grief for men is difficult because they're told that they should have no feelings about this. It's her body, it's her life, it's none of your business, so he doesn't have a place to turn," she added.
In the end, "they turn to drugs, they turn to pornography because they swore they'll never touch a woman again, depression, all kinds of things."
She said it's important for men to have a voice in the discussion because "biologically they are changed by the pregnancy, there's a physiological thing going on here. He can't control that, that's biology. God is turning him into a father."
Suicide is also frequent and strong temptation for both men and women post-abortion, she said, recalling stories she's heard of men with seemingly perfect lives who jumped from bridges and no one understood why until a friend or relative revealed that there had been an abortion that the man "had never recovered from."
Thorn said that just a few years ago in Milwaukee there was a murder-suicide prompted by an abortion in which a man killed his girlfriend and then killed himself after she had an abortion he did not want.
Many men who would have tried to stop the abortion of their child but couldn't do it at times confess to having "violent thoughts" because "they couldn't protect" their baby, Thorn said. "It's this sense of male impotence, not sexual impotence, but that men are protectors, and they really struggle with that."
Women, especially during the teen years, "are ten times more likely to attempt suicide after an abortion in the months that follow, that first six to eight months," Thorn said. "That tells you the depth of the woundedness."
After those first months, "denial kicks in," she said, noting that while women will say they are doing fine, "they're emotionally very numb."
Commitment also becomes an issue for men and women after abortions, she said, explaining that "only about 30 percent of couples survive abortions as a couple."
If they move on to another relationship, they often won't tell their partners about feelings of betrayal or regret, "and that's going to be an intimacy killer in the bedroom, because she doesn't trust men – the one she was with forced her to have an abortion – and he doesn't women, it was his fiance that had his child aborted, so this is a huge wound."
Women suffering from an abortion loss will often go into a "shut-down" phase, she said, noting that it is these women who become staunch defenders of abortion, and are the loudest voices arguing that it's a woman's right.
"That's another way to cope," she said. Pointing to various stories of people who have left the abortion industry, Thorn noted that "almost all of them had their own abortions first or during that time. It's a way to cope with what they've done; I need it, other women must need it, so I'm going to protect that right."
"It's a very incredibly deep sadness and women never forget. They have the biology that makes it impossible to forget, it's always a part of them," she said, adding that in her experience, the people who have found help and healed from past abortions "never support abortion again."
Abortion can also affect parenting and one's relationship with future children, because women who don't heal after an abortion "don't bond very well in a different pregnancy. They're very over protective, but sometimes they're emotionally distant from their child."
Fathers, on the other hand, "are overly committed to the child and become enmeshed, they really sort of take the role of the mother and push the mother away."
Other family members, such as siblings or cousins, are also affected by abortion, she said, noting that she has met many people who grew up with a strong sensation that they should have had a brother or sister, and only later found out that an abortion had taken place.
In her view, Thorn said there is not enough discussion or awareness about the effects of abortion "because it's an uncomfortable piece, because there are so many abortions and people do not want to talk about it."
"But what we're seeing in these songs is people are finding a way to tell their story to somebody in hopes that somebody's listening, and that's part of the healing process, is an opportunity to tell the story," she said.
The fact that so many songs are being sung about the topic is "an indication that people are looking for a way to speak the truth about what happened," she said, "and that's a way to do it if that's your talent and your gift."
If you or someone you know is suffering after abortion, confidential non-judgmental help is available:
Call Project Rachel's national toll-free number: 888-456-HOPE(-4673) or visit HopeAfterAbortion.org.
Spanish-speakers may visit EsperanzaPosaborto.org"
Help is also available for men at http://menandabortion.info/