Divorce rate rises for couples over 65: What do Catholic experts suggest?

Jan 2, 2026 / 06:00 am

The rate of married couples filing for divorce has begun to trend downward in recent years, but the rate of “gray divorce” — divorces of couples in their 60s or older — has continued to climb.

A July 2025 report from the Institute for Family Studies found that about 40% of today’s first marriages will end in divorce — much less than the oft-cited estimates of about 50%. This is partly because marriages are more selective and some younger people are waiting longer to marry or shunning marriage altogether.

In spite of that overall downward trend, the report explains that the 40% estimate is based on the assumption that divorce rates will remain stable. It acknowledges though that “prediction is no easy task,” and if later-year divorce rates continue to surge, the number of divorces may be higher.

A 2024 study by the National Center for Family and Marriage Research at Bowling Green State University found that the divorce rate among married couples aged 65 or older nearly tripled over the past three decades, from about 5.2% in 1990 to 15.2% in 2022. Divorce among older couples is frequently called gray divorce.

Julia Dezelski, associate director of marriage and family life for the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops (USCCB) Committee on Laity, Marriage, Family Life, and Youth, told CNA the factors leading to gray divorce are often different from the factors that lead to divorce among younger or middle-aged married couples.

“The new challenges [are] faced by couples who find themselves newly ‘alone’ with themselves after their kids have left home for college, careers, etc.,” she said. “As empty nesters, the couple is faced with a new season of ‘rediscovery’ as a couple, and this can be a source of stress as well as disillusionment as they learn that the years of child-rearing and careerism may have changed them as individuals and as a couple.”

Dezelski said other factors include health and hormonal changes that come with age, and many couples are unprepared for changes that accompany perimenopause and menopause, and this can sometimes cause “greater tension between the couple.”

Gray divorce, she said, can exacerbate the feelings of “lowliness and social isolation” and can be “harder to navigate in some ways.” The impact on the couple’s grown children is different than it would be on young children but is “always significant and a form of trauma” regardless of the age of the children, she said.

“For the older children of divorce, it can be particularly hard to commit to a similar life journey with confidence if your own parents’ marriage is unraveling or to explain to their own children why their grandparents are separating,” she said.

What do Catholic experts suggest?

Although many of the root causes for gray divorce are distinct from the root causes of divorce for younger couples, Sheila Oprysko — who serves on the leadership team for the Worldwide Marriage Encounter (WWME) — told CNA that many of the solutions are “very similar.”

WWME is a Catholic organization that offers retreats for married couples to help them build their connection with each other and with God.

For couples in their 60s, one issue can often be that they “really haven’t communicated with each other” properly in years, she said. This is often because their efforts focused on their children, their house, their jobs, and other things.

Her husband, Peter Oprysko, who also serves on the leadership team, told CNA gray divorce is often “because couples have lost track of each other — their life has been about everything but their relationship.”

Peter said: “We have seen an increase in the number of older couples attending the Worldwide Marriage Encounter Weekend Experience.” He said a goal is to teach them “a form of communication that enables couples to connect at a different level — at a feeling level.”

Sheila added that “sharing your feelings is one of the tools,” as well as a need to “reevaluate where we spend our time [and] how do we even communicate to one another?”

“And when things go awry, we talk about the importance of healing and forgiveness,” she said. “... Not just saying ‘I’m sorry,’ but saying ‘please forgive me’ and the other person acknowledging that yes they are forgiven.”

She said the inability to communicate amid life changes can cause couples to “make judgments about each other,” adding: “It’s easier to blame your spouse for the change rather than look at what the change really was.”

In addition to better communication and hearing each other out, Sheila said married couples need to reflect on “the graces of the sacrament [of marriage and] the beauty of the sacrament.”

“A couple’s love is a reflection of God’s love for all to see,” she said.

They also emphasized the importance of not simply praying for each other but also praying with each other.

“God really enters into the relationship [through that process],” Sheila said. “So it becomes the three.”

Dezelski said for older couples it’s important to “begin with gratitude” and review the greatest blessings of the marriage and to “continue with hope” and “renew the reason for your love: Reflect on what drew you together by God’s grace on your marriage day.”

“Don’t let the sun set on your resentment, anger, [or] frustration: Give and ask for forgiveness,” she added. “The new year is a wonderful time to begin anew by seeking God’s mercy in the sacraments.”

(Story continues below)

The Opryskos pointed to their programs as options for married couples who are struggling with the thought of divorce. Dezelski also recommended seeking faith-based therapy through Alpha Omega Clinic or MyCatholicDoctor and other Catholic resources.