Catholic & Single Ongoing Conversion - Turning away

May 28, 2008

When I reverted back into the Catholic faith many years ago, there was so much excitement in me about what the life of conversion meant; namely turning away from my past life and turning toward Christ and His life.  I quickly learned that the Christian life is about ongoing conversion.  In other words, the conversion process never stops.  This is because we are daily sinners, therefore, there is always need for conversion in our lives.

Though I fully expected I would have to work at the process of ongoing conversion toward Christ as I fell because of sin, I never expected that there would be ongoing conversion to “turn away” from things the initial conversion was (I thought) supposed to be riding me of.

This action of “turning away” is something we all need to exercise as we live an ongoing conversion.  But it seems there is more attention given to the aspect of turning toward Christ, with neglect to turning away. 

For single Catholics, this neglect can be detrimental toward finding a spouse.  There can be a terrible assumption that one only needs to turn toward Christ and all will be well.  Ongoing conversion must include the act of “turning away”.  From what?  Well, the specifics will vary with each person, but in general, we have to turn away from sin, from occasions of sin (according to self-knowledge of what things lead us more readily into sin), from things that distract us from our pursuit of holiness, from anything that is contrary to the way we should be living a Christian life.

My experience working with single Catholics has confirmed that many Catholics are too presumptuous of their Catholic faith that they neglect working at recognizing things that are likely (though maybe only subtly) keeping them from making bigger strides in the ongoing conversion process.

It could something as small as watching too much television at will, to something as large as sexual temptation (in all its forms).  It could be subtle things like the way we dress or behave in public (based on habits that were long in place before an initial conversion commitment to Christ), or obvious things like dating a person who is obviously wrong for you, but you do it anyway. 

Going to confession and to Mass, or doing Holy Hours, can only be effective in our lives to the degree that we are “turning away” from our sinful tendencies, our bad habits, our destructive faults, and everything that can keep us from God, or at least weaken our wills so the act of “turning toward” Christ is more difficult. 

We all have these realities in our life that we need to turn away from constantly, whether it is within us, or coming from society, or work, or family, or whatever. 

Finding the right person to marry starts with being the right person someone would want to marry.  It goes both ways.  And a truly Christian marriage centered on Christ will be of two people who are in the ongoing conversion process, which means both “turning toward” Christ, AND “turning away” from that which keeps us from living the Christian life. 

As Catholics, we believe that the Sacraments offer us the Divine life of Christ within us which empowers us to be saints.  However, without an authentic life of ongoing conversion, there can never be the degree of progress in the spiritual and physical life that the Sacraments build on.  And that progress is so essential toward becoming the person your future spouse needs you to be.

Just as you would not “settle” on whom you would marry, do not “settle” on where you are in your spiritual life.  Don’t be comfortable only with turning toward Jesus.  Keep turning away from that which is not of Christ, and live a well-rounded ongoing conversion.