Nov 26, 2008
Dear Anthony,
I'm 18 and unlike many others my age, I want to marry and be a stay-at-home mom. I'm wondering if attending college while looking for my future husband would be a good idea. What are your thoughts? I'm also considering joining Ave Maria Singles.
It is perfectly fine to attend college while being seriously open to meeting your future spouse. Education can only help, not hurt. Attending college also helps you become more interesting. Also, traditionally, college is a prime place that a young person actually meets their future spouse. I am told that back in the day, it was a main reason a woman went to college (to meet a husband). Though times have changed and women attend college for many other good reasons, being open to meeting someone while in college is highly recommended. Of course, make sure it is a good Catholic boy (especially if you are attending a non-Catholic college). What college you attend does make a difference regarding your opportunities to meet strong, devout Catholic men. You definitely don't want to lose your Catholic faith if you are easily influenced by your peers and you attend a college where you could not find support for your Catholic faith nor anyone else to grow in it with. So by all means, do NOT avoid college just because you know you want to be married. But choose a good Catholic college if you want to increase your chances of meeting a good man.
Obviously, you can also meet good Catholic men without going to college. It is perfectly plausible to dedicate your time to working and making yourself available for dating men, falling in love, and getting married. My wife did not attend college. She absolutely always wanted to be married, a wife and mother, and took this approach of working and being available full-time to date. It has its advantages.
I think the key, whether you are going to college or not, is to be available and make it a strategy to be available to meet your future spouse. Too many young people don't make themselves "open" during their 20s, and college just passes them by without their realizing they just blew a key opportunity to meet their future spouse, or their 20s just blow by and they were not open enough to allow love to find them. So it really has to be a priority to be "open", and work at being open (if need be, since it does not come naturally to some).
Regardless of how you decide about college, if you are ready for marriage and desire to make that commitment at this point in your life, by all means join our site and be open. Once you join, you may be contacted by older men. Just remember that you are anonymous until you give out your personal information. So don't feel the least bit put out if you have to tell a member you are not interested (we have a "Not Interested" button that helps make it easier). Everyone on the site is actively seeking to meet the right person, so it makes sense you will run into some who are NOT the right person. Don't take anything personally, either. This is a process and God is right there with you. Just be open to meeting someone wherever he is, persevere, have patience, and keep active. These are the keys to success. God will do the rest.