Faith on the Quad Letting go of ‘control’

Mar 10, 2009

During this season of Lent we have all chosen something from which to fast. Whether we have given up naps, television, snacks, or in my case, Doritos, we do so in order to rid ourselves of some comfort or crutch in our lives. As a result of the deprivation, we are left with space for Christ’s love and a new perspective based in the reality of the necessity of His love in our lives.

While reflecting upon this tradition, I couldn’t help but wonder what my ultimate "crutch" is. It certainly is not Doritos, or my big papasan chair, but something that affects my entire life, not only when I’m hungry, bored or tired. I realized that the biggest crutch we can have in our lives is one of “control” – specifically the constant control of our lives now and in the future. This control can manifest itself in many forms. It can be a constant control of the outward self in order to avoid feeling vulnerable or inadequate, a control of other people, or a control of the future self. Today, I want to focus on the future self, since, as college students, we are currently preparing for our future careers and vocations.

This type of control is tricky because it is manifested in good things. These can be practices such as lining up a summer internship, a job after graduation, aspiring for a certain career and signing up for classes accordingly, making future plans with a serious boyfriend or girlfriend and any other sort of "planning ahead" strategy. All of these things are virtuous and in fact should be done. However, they must not be done alone. Our plans should be a result of dialogue with Jesus – and once those plans are made, they must not be considered unchangeable. Christ will continue to act on our hearts in His own, sometimes inconvenient, time.

This means we must allow much flexibility in our view of the future. When we are asked what we are doing next year, the sometimes cliché remark: "God-willing" should always follow our answers. It need not necessarily be spoken, but it must be in our hearts. This thought, that our plans are not always His plans, is tremendously scary if we do not know how to trust in His love for us and knowledge of what will truly make us happy. Obtaining such trust is a learning experience. It involves reminding ourselves that God has a life much more exciting and romantic than one we could ever plan ourselves.

How then do we make plans if we are not certain they are God’s plans? I’m sure we have all wished for the manila envelope from heaven containing God’s outline for our lives contained within it. And, it is the absence of this mail which causes much anxiety. How do we know we are making the right decision? How do we know when God is saying yes or no to our ambitions? These are questions that plague the minds of college students trying to make decisions by deadlines for the future.

In my experience, there is no complete answer to this question. But going to Christ in prayer can help bring peace to decisions. Sometimes that peace will be felt before you even have to fill out the application for a grad school, study abroad program, or job opportunity. Other times peace will come through external signs, like the reception of a scholarship, making the opportunity financially possible.

I hoped to study abroad this summer. When the application deadline approached I still could not find enough scholarships to fund the opportunity. The night before I needed to hand my application to the coordinator, I had to ask myself a big question: Is God shutting this door to me, or is He asking me to take a leap of faith and trust that I will find the money? This is a tough question that many college students face daily and the answer can only be found in prayer.

Ultimately, God has a plan for us, and he allows much flexibility between the many good things we are presented with. We need not spend our entire spiritual life in stressful wonder of where He is leading us. Rather, our lives should be filled with peaceful trust that the destination is good.

Mike Sweeney, a major league baseball player, gives us a strategy on how to live actively while trusting in God’s plans. He compares our lives to a ride on a tandem bicycle. He says Christ is to be steering in the front seat, while we are to be pedaling away in the back. In a time of desperation, he realized that peace can only come when we give up that controlling seat in the front and take the back. He says, "I told God that it was His place of honor on the front seat, should he [choose to] reside, and all I was going to do was Trust Him and PEDAL! He was going to steer me no matter where [life] took me, and I was going to keep my eyes focused right upon him."

This Lent, let us stop trying to steer our own lives, and when there is uncertainty in a decision, let us pedal furiously by working hard on things we think are good, trusting that God will steer us in the direction He desires for our lives. Let us begin this adventurous bike ride today.