Guest Columnist Caring for Christ

Mar 3, 2010

Not too long ago, I was called upon to care for, serve, and suffer with Christ Himself.

Christ came in the form of my mother, who was dying of cancer.  I walked along with Christ Himself as if He were once again carrying His cross to Calvary.  What could I do? How could I help Him? Could I STOP this? I loved Him so much and yet my love could not take away the cancerous cross that He carried.  I realized I could only stand by Him, comfort Him and care for His wounds.  I experienced a unique and total abandonment of my own desires in order to serve His every wish through my mother.

Several months before my mother died I had received a phone call telling me of Mom’s severely deteriorating condition.  As a family we anticipated caring for her ourselves with the help of the hospice program.  The time had come.  The stress was obviously wearing on my dad and he could no longer care for Mom by himself.  He was fighting cancer as well, and my mom needed round the clock attention.  We didn’t know how long she was going to live.  It could be weeks.  It could be months.  As always, God provided in such a magnificent way.  He not only provided for Mom but He showed  how much He loved and cared for me as well.

I was six months pregnant with our first child and out of work due to a rough first trimester. Of my brothers and sisters, I was the only one available to fly out at that  moment to be with my mom.  As the child within me grew, the life within my mother was slowly dying.  She wasn’t eating much.  She hated to take pills so much that we would sit together for almost a full hour as she swallowed each one with a sip of water from a straw.  As I sat at her side my thoughts went to those many times Jesus called for me in prayer but I was too tired or too busy to come to Him.  And now – only now – the love I had for my mother strengthened me to serve in spite of my own fatigue.  Paul’s letter to the Romans speaks of love’s ability to make us great servants.  It fills us up to serve the Lord and one another with diligence and fervency in spirit.  Oh, how I desire to love you, Lord, with all my heart, with all my soul, with my entire mind, and with all my strength!

Ironically, I had previously agonized over not being able to conceive a child.  I questioned why God would make me wait so long when I felt that it was really His will for me to be a mother.  I saw so clearly now that He was in control.  His plan for me was intricately woven with His plan for my mom.  That our long-awaited child was yet to be born made possible the opportunity to serve Christ as I sat each night at the foot of my mother’s bed.  Why did I doubt God’s hand in my life?  “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.  Then you will call upon me and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  And you will seek me and find me, when you search for me with all your heart.” (Jeremiah 29:11-13) He clearly showed me His ever-present hand.

What joy God gave me in allowing me to serve my mom!  How could I begin to give her back the hours she had given to me: all those times she held me and comforted me when I fell down; the times she bathed and fed me?  She spent long hours teaching, admonishing and encouraging me.  She planted the seed of love and watched it grow within me.

All the while God was teaching me about motherhood and its sacrifices. I found it hard to turn my mom.  I found it hard to encourage her to take her medicine.  I found it hard to cut her fingernails and groom her.  I found it hard to help her to the bathroom. I vacillated between not wanting to help her too much, causing her to lose her dignity and helping too little, causing her to struggle unnecessarily.

Each day I would suggest something to eat.  Sometimes her eyes would light up and she would say, “Oh that sounds good.”  But as soon as I would bring it to her she could swallow only one small bite or maybe none at all. “Thank you honey. You’re so sweet.”  I will always treasure these words!  What a joy it must have been for Martha to hear Jesus thank her for making Him and His disciples comfortable in her home.  What a comfort it was for me to know that my mother saw my efforts, however imperfect they may have been, as acts of love for her.

That last evening of her life all her children were around her.  Her last words were “Is everybody here?  I love you all very,  very much.”  Her desire, as was Christ’s, was unity and love.  My mother was a devoted servant to her family and friends.  With great love she served us.   Many people were touched and lives were changed because of her love. She loved as Christ calls us to love.

As she lay dying, I pondered:   Can I be such an example to my child?  Then I realized that my mom gave me all I needed just as Christ gives us all we need to carry on His message.  The two are now together directing me through His Holy Spirit.  What a peace to know that they are with me each day  I try to raise my child!

I am sure that my mother's wish for all of us would be “that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man; so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to filled up to all the fullness of God. “ ( Eph 3:16-19)

As I stood at the foot of my mom's bed  -Christ’s bed-  I saw that His work was done.  I stood helpless to His suffering and yet knew that He was calling me to a new work.  He was calling all of us to follow His example and to carry on His work of caring for His people.  It was not the end but a beginning, a new beginning for those many lives that were touched by this simple servant.

Printed with permission from Phases of Womanhood.