Both Oars In Male Hygiene?

May 28, 2010

I was born in 1964, so I missed the opportunity to be part of many trends and fads. I was too late to really be a boomer; too young to be a discoer; and too old to be a hipster. It seemed like everybody else was either a trendsetter or buster while I was always showing up when the party was over or before it started. Except for male hygiene - I was a witness to the very moment that changed.

The pinnacle moment was September 1980. In an otherwise non-descript year, I clearly remember when Leon Smitherman, an upperclassman at my Indiana private boarding school, walked into our gang shower carrying two bottles. I recognized one as shampoo, but I could not imagine what the other was. So, I asked him. “It’s conditioner, man.” Conditioner? I thought only girls used that.

Granted, Leon was from the West Coast. I was from the Midwest. But, more importantly, I was from a family with a dad who has preserved his enviable head of hair with Zest soap, to this day. At that time, my brothers and I, as far as I knew, used whatever shampoo my sisters left in the shower that my mom bought on sale. I couldn’t even imagine a male going out of his way to purchase a particular brand of shampoo, let alone a matching conditioner. Culture was not just clashing; I realized that it was in rapid change.

From that moment thirty years ago, male hygiene has gone from nonchalant to a multi-billion dollar market. Razor companies produce shelves full of personal care products for men. The same companies spend millions at sporting events to promote these designer products that generally just make you smell slightly different for ten minutes after you bathe. No more would a male in good conscience be able to just grab whatever was there. We had arrived. We needed to take care of ourselves.   

I was reminded of this historic moment by what would have seemed an inane argument to most people, especially to those who had not seen the momentous change in male hygiene that I had personally witnessed 30 years ago. The disagreement was between my two sons, who were fighting over who would be allowed to purchase Old Spice products. My older son felt that he owned the scent, at least for use in our household. I asked, “What does it matter?” He scowled at me. What was I, stupid? Boom! Leon standing in a white towel holding two bottles flashed before my eyes. Clearly, men had arrived at the Mecca of Primping. The long journey was over.

In order to save my youngest son from being scent deprived and oppressed in his desire for self-expression through dipropylene glycol and PPG-3 myristyl ether, I had to drop off the rest of the family for Korean BBQ and covertly take him to Wal-Mart to look for his own brand of shampoo and deodorant. Apparently it is also important that they match. Any attempt to do this openly would have resulted in him getting punched really hard in the arm by his incensed brother. [Pun very much intended.]

On the way, I asked, “How does a 13 year old even know what he wants to smell like?” Like an old man sensing that he was slipping away with time, I pined, “Wasn’t it just a few months ago that you were in your terrible twelves and refusing to take a shower?” He glared at me, not yet able to muster the condescending scowl of his fully teenage brother. I could see that he thought I had no clue. I felt compelled to defend myself and prove I caught this trend at its inception. So, I told him the Leon Smitherman story. I made it clear that I was there. I let my son know that I remember when the Old Spice man in his pea coat and turtleneck was replaced by high-paid athlete. We connected and I paid too much for a bottle of something totally different from Old Spice, in deference to his fuming brother.  

Still, even with this keenly personal, direct experience with the evolution of male hygiene, I am still caught off guard by how much time, effort and consumer dollars young men are putting into personal care products. There is also the very grave issue of the rise in eating disorders among young men and other serious image related issues associated with physical appearance and clothes. Showering a bit more is not a bad thing for a boy heading into manhood, but carrying a full bucket of products into the shower is a bit concerning.

Chemicals can cover up a lot; but they cannot replace substance. That is what I learned from my dad’s hair smelling like Zest for ten minutes after his shower ever since I can remember.