Both Oars In Regulate this!

Jul 29, 2011

During all the hoopla over the switch from Elizabeth Warren to Richard Cordray to head the nearly formed Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, I found myself wondering, “Don’t we already have a consumer protection agency?” While others seemed fixated on who would lead the new government agency, I decided to google “consumer protection.”

Indeed, we do already have a consumer protection agency. It is called the Bureau of Consumer Protection—oddly. It is part of the Federal Trade Commission. The BCP of the FTC is one of the legacy ABCs of FDR’s New Deal. Including the earlier service of its predecessor agency, the Bureau of Corporations, which was started by the first Roosevelt, the FTC, along with its sub-agencies, has been proudly protecting the U.S. consumer for over a century.

I am not sure why we need another consumer protection bureau regardless of who is appointed to lead it, given that we already have the BCP, but my search did inspire me to think of some suggestions for regulatory action on behalf of the consumer. If the government is still in business next week, I hope the consumer agencies which make the cut will take up these suggestions—quickly.

First, it is time to protect us from businesses in the cell phone charger racket by forcing the adoption of one universal charger. There is no reason that we should have to switch chargers with each new phone we purchase. We have been duped into filling our kitchen and desk drawers with obsolete chargers by charlatan charger companies. It is by insidious design that you cannot borrow your friend’s charger when you forget your own. Instead, it’s $23.99 down the drain and another  electronic device for the landfill.

On the same subject, the sale of cell service to minors should be forbidden or at least limited to programs that only allow calls to 911 and home. Clearly, texting is as addictive and mind numbing as any controlled substance. Maybe some of the agents that went after Big Tobacco can prove that the cell companies knew in advance that adding texting to phones would increase their addictiveness. I suspect that there is the basis for a very lucrative class action suit here.

While we are on the topic of addictions, the amount of sugar, especially in the form of high fructose corn syrup, that can legally be delivered in an once of liquid needs to be regulated. The same goes for the amount of fat allowed in an ounce of food. The First Lady is right; it’s our poor national diet, especially our children’s diet, that is driving up health care costs. It is time the soda and the fast food industries get nailed for being sugar and fat pushers.

Not to keep picking on the young, but it is also time to regulate the amount of gas that teenagers can buy. If petroleum merits price manipulation through the releasing of strategic reserves, it is time to ration the amount gas available for really non-essential activity. Teens make up nearly 5 percent of drivers and drive around 6,000 miles per year. Only those with a job should be able to purchase gas without being accompanied by an adult.

Last but not least, it is time for Hollywood to start living in the real world. Movie ticket prices are outrageous—over 10 dollars nearly everywhere. It is time to cap the price of movie tickets at the federal hourly minimum wage, currently $7.25. This will be a tough one to pass since Hollywood stars have become a major source of campaign contributions. But maybe Rahm Emanuel’s departure to the Midwest will dampen their ability to press their case.  
 
I recognize the above list of regulatory suggestions may appear a bit impractical and even personal. Yet, as Washington has made overtly clear of late, the basis for government action is more a question of popularity than sense or cents. And, I am sure that at least a few of the above requests for regulatory action have the potential for gaining populist support.