This does not excuse a person for behaving badly when something happens that they struggle to get over. The recovery process does not include causing more harm. The hurt person can be tempted to spread information about the experience that is skewed, misrepresented, or out of context. This can cause more damage.
We see a lot of this in the dating world. Two people break up, and the one who has been hurt (or has determined they are the victim) tells everyone around them how horrible the other is. Often, the core problem was simply that they were not a good fit for each other. Yet, hurt people can spin their experience in a way that makes the other look like someone all people should stay away from.
You have a right to recover at your own pace, but you don’t have a right to judge what others did to “cause” it. This is fundamentally because each person internally processes external information uniquely. It is extremely difficult to ever really know objective truth to situations.
This is why relationships are so much more about communication than about sexual attraction, financial security, or any other thing people tend to focus on. And by communication, I mean the ability to share thoughts and feelings openly, and provide a safe place for each other’s complexities.
A person who is hurt can’t just “get over it” without people to help them do so on their own terms and in their own time. The time period for moving on can often be shortened because of a good friend who helps you through or prolonged because there is no one to help you navigate outward expressions of that hurt in a healthy and productive way.
Hurt people don’t get healthier by force. They have to get there on their own, but cannot get there without others to help them. Most of all, they will never be at peace with themselves without forgiveness. To ultimately “get over it” is to have forgiveness for whomever hurt them, as well as forgiveness of self.
Love is a light that navigates the way. Jesus said He is the light of the world. A true friend in your life shines that light of Christ while you’re in that pain so you never wander off toward the darkness.