CNA: Many voters are filled with regret. Do you have any regrets as a candidate?
CNA: Many saw you running as much against the system as against Cthulhu, who also promised destruction. What do you think set your two campaigns apart this year?
SMOD: Two things. First, I promise natural, scientifically-premised destruction. Second, I don't have face tentacles.
CNA: This election has brought out a lot of divides from within the religious community – what can you offer religious voters at the polls or watching election results?
SMOD: In many ways, this election helps illustrate the philosophy Søren Kierkegaard. The world (especially the political world) is absurd, and when faced with such absurdity sometimes the best move is to a make a leap of faith.
CNA: How is your relationship with the Catholic Church? What do you think of Pope Francis?
SMOD: Some of the Earth's earliest radio broadcasts were from Italy, so I guess you could say I had a Catholic upbringing. Francis is a great Pontiff from everything I've read about him. I'm also a big fan of St. Francis of Assisi.
CNA: You are an unabashedly pro-death candidate. What do you have to say to pro-life voters. Will you combat the Culture of Death and if so, how?
SMOD: Death is a part of life. It is inevitable. Tragically, not everyone dies at the same time, thus those who pass away will still leave others behind to mourn their absence. I offer the opportunity for natural, worldwide simultaneous death; death without grief or suffering. The only life to remain, small colonies of bacteria, will feel neither pain nor sadness.
CNA: Much of your campaign focused on preparing for the demise of humanity. It is also November- the month where the Church remembers the dead. Do you have any advice for preparing for a happy death and for remembering those who died before your arrival?
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SMOD: Life is short. Make your emotional investments wisely – i.e. not in politics or professional sports.
Adelaide Mena was the DC Correspondent for Catholic News Agency until 2017 and is a 2012 graduate of Princeton University.