Nanci Hyman, Alexa’s mother, told CNA that the day her daughter revealed her pregnancy to them she “was terrified for her, but I just kept repeating to her, we will help you, we are here, you are not alone.”
Nanci said that while incredibly difficult in the beginning, it soon became clear that this was not “the worst thing that had ever happened to us, but one of the best things.”
“You want your children to know that you love them unconditionally, that you will never stop loving them, no matter what. I am so grateful Alexa felt safe enough to come to us. Once her story began to get around, our eyes were opened to how many other women have walked this path, and how important it is to have support.”
Nanci said when Hyman did finally start to share the news of her pregnancy, several young women reached out to her and confessed that they too were pregnant and had been considering having abortions. Alexa’s story gave them courage to carry their babies to term.
“There are women out there - good girls from good homes who are being raised in the Church, attending Catholic schools, learning the Faith from their families, and we are not immune to this. The shame drives so many women to make irreversible decisions, and the silence enables the cycle to continue,” Nanci told CNA.
Alexa Hyman, meanwhile, was beginning to feel more confident that maybe her life wasn’t totally derailing after all.
“You can do this, Alexa.”
“It was a real turning point,” Hyman confessed, “when people responded to my situation with joy instead of fear or disappointment.”
“Women are so buried in this fear. And the future looks totally black. But in sharing this message, I want other women in this circumstance to know that there is another side to the story. I know that it feels like your life is ending, but it’s really just beginning.”
The pro-life movement expends heroic effort and resources on material assistance to women in crisis pregnancies, meeting women in their deepest need and helping them to make a way forward.
But Hyman says that fear is a huge motivator for many women facing unplanned pregnancies.
“A woman is so afraid she will lose her relationship if she goes down this road. But you can’t make a decision based on fear. At the end of the day, if the relationship doesn’t work out, the relationship wasn’t meant to be, but you’re still left with a darling child.”
“If you make a decision based on fear, based on trying to preserve a relationship - well, would you rather grieve the relationship or the baby who you sacrificed for the relationship?”
“Back in February”
Asked how her faith factored into her experience, Hyman said she grew close to Mary during her pregnancy.
“I kept praying the joyful mysteries of the Rosary, I became so infatuated with those reflections because I felt so alone, and I wanted to understand how she did it. And all the while, I kept hearing from her that I needed to share my story.”
And so, after two years of journaling and countless revisions and second guessing, last month Hyman launched a website and accompanying social media channels called “Back in February,” after that fateful month in 2017 when the course of her life changed.
“My big hope for ‘Back in February’ is that, specifically for women facing an unplanned pregnancy, this place becomes a living, breathing community of women … where you can realize that you’re not alone.,” Hyman said.
Hyman now lives in Chicago, close to her family, where she works full time in the financial services industry and navigates life as a single mom. Her daughter, Renley Jane, is now almost 17 months old, and splits her weekdays between her nanny and her grandma.
“There is not a single day that goes by - even my hardest days - that I would make a single different choice,” Hyman declared. “I have my daughter. She has opened me up to unconditional love.”