Who would win a rap battle between a Dominican and a Jesuit? Let’s see:

“We’re the ones who educated the world’s best,

From Georgetown to Harvard, we’re the top notch, blessed,

Our scholars and theologians, they’re second to none,

Our mission, to serve others, with a passion that can’t be undone,” the Jesuit says.

The Dominican responds:

“Hold up, hold up, you may have brains and wit,

But you can’t deny, we’re the ones who bring the Holy Spirit,

St. Dominic founded our order, we’ve been preaching for centuries,

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You may be fancy, but we’re the real heavyweight entries.”

To the dismay of many Catholic rap fans, this was not a real battle between the orders. These verses were generated by the new online artificial intelligence (AI) program ChatGPT.

The online artificial intelligence model is designed to simulate human conversation and is “programmed to learn from vast amounts of text data,” it told CNA. ChatGPT caught national attention after its November 2022 launch and has since been the subject of debate on the ethics and power of artificial intelligence while boasting more than 600 million page visits since its debut, according to Similar Web.

When asked by CNA for three adjectives to describe its capabilities, it said it’s “informative,” “conversational,” and “learning.” So, we dug a little deeper into ChatGPT’s Catholic arsenal.

CNA asked ChatGPT to tell us a Catholic joke. It took a few tries before realizing we had to ask for a “clean” Catholic joke. Here’s what it said.

“One Sunday morning, a priest was giving a sermon on the importance of forgiveness. He asked his congregation, ‘How many of you have forgiven your enemies?’ Everyone in the congregation raised their hand, except for one elderly woman in the front row. The priest was surprised and asked the woman, ‘You mean you haven’t forgiven your enemies?’

“The woman replied, ‘I don't have any enemies, Father.’ The priest was taken aback and said, ‘That’s very unusual. How old are you?’ ‘I’m 98 years old,’ the woman replied.

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“The priest was amazed and said, ‘98 years old and you don’t have any enemies? That’s incredible! Tell me, what’s your secret?’ The woman leaned forward and whispered, ‘I’ve outlived all of them.’”

Finally, CNA asked ChatGPT to come up with a schedule for a parent who has kids and who works eight-hours a day but would like to follow Pope Francis’ advice on prayer.

ChatGPT responded with a rather helpful, very specific schedule:

5:30 a.m. — Wake up and spend 15 minutes in personal prayer and reflection.

6 a.m. — Get ready for the day and help kids get ready for school.

7 a.m. — Eat breakfast with the family and read a short passage from the Bible or other spiritual text.

7:30 a.m. — Commute to work.

8 a.m. to 5 p.m. — Work an eight-hour shift.

5:30 p.m. — Commute back home and spend time with family.

6 p.m. — Have dinner with the family and talk about the day.

7 p.m. — Spend 30 minutes in family prayer or reflection, including a short prayer and reflection on a shared spiritual text.

7:30 p.m. — Help kids with homework and spend quality time with the family.

8:30 p.m. — Spend 15-30 minutes in personal prayer or meditation before going to bed.

9 p.m. — Go to bed.

“Of course, this schedule can be adjusted to fit each family’s needs and preferences. The important thing is to make time for prayer and reflection each day, as Pope Francis encourages us to do,” ChatGPT said.

ChatGPT left CNA with some encouragement from St. Paul, in Romans 8: “We know that all things work for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.”